"It's great to be young and a Yankee."

I CANNOT believe that this game only has 1 measly error scored on it. I'd say that alone is an error. Because from where I was sitting--at my desk in the office--it looked like a delightful hot mess of an afternoon.

The following things should have been recorded as E's:

• The O's scoring 4 times against 5 relievers
• The O's fielding routine plays like they're hungover (seriously, I'm bit surprised there was only 1 E in the whole game! I don't know how Ty Wigginton's kickball routine was scored, but I have a feeling it was ruled an RBI from Johnson. Immediately thereafter Garret Atkins flails about at first. At least one of those must have been an error, but at most only 1 of them was ruled as such.)
• O's pitching coach Rick Kranitz getting ejected in the 2nd
• Kay and Leiter once again acting like a pair of semi-conscious gerbils

I don't know what was sadder, the fact that the O's play baseball like a 3rd grader trying to do organic chemistry...or the fact the Yanks almost handed them the win.

Joba was out after pitching the last 2 days, and Mo is still battling "stiffness." (My sister works on the Viagra account, so maybe I've just been hanging out with her too much, because I almost just threw a "That's What She Said" in there. As liberal as I am with TWSS usage, the line MUST be drawn at anything pertaining to Mariano Rivera.)

Mitre, Marte, D-Rob, Logan, and Aces all had a shot in this game. Mitre pitched badly, which puts a little damper on our "Who needs Javy! Sergio for the #5 spot!" parade. Marte pitched well, and that means I can continue thinking of him as I like to think of him: framed by his postseason performance last year. The D-Rob came in, and I think May 5 is now officially the day the love for D-Rob has run dry.

I loved this guy. He could work his way out of ANYTHING. Now he couldn't find his way out of a paper bag. He gave up 2 homeruns in 4 batters, so poor Andy almost didn't get the win.

What should have been a nice coast to a 6-1 victory ended up a slightly nerve-racking 7-5 squeaker-by-er.

Also, after watching YES for however many years now, I just realized what YES-MO means. (It's the Yes catchy branded version of Slow-Mo. Whoever invented shortening compound phrases with both words beginning with long O sounds...well, he's just cashing in now, huh.)

I'm not crazy about this. Yes-Mo doesn't make any sense. In light of the fact Mo is out with an injury and the entire world (especially after today) is waiting with baited breath to hear about his status, it's just confusing to flash anything with "Mo" on the screen that isn't immediately intuitive.

The good news on the day is that almost everyone on the Yanks got a hit (including NJ who had a perfect 3-for-3 day with a HR). The bad news is that the only person who did NOT get a hit was Cano. GOD. TIME TO TRADE HIS ASS. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR ME LATELY, ROBBIE?* Other yardage of note: Swish. Again.

Tex also seems to be slowly but kind of surely cracking out of his Suck Shell. He banged a double against to wall to bring in 2 ribbies. A-Rod and Jeter also knocked in a few runs, so all things considered, we're in good shape.

Except for our bullpen. Which--hear me out--I'm not worried about. Despite allll the evidence that should understandably send a psychopath like myself into fits of panic. But, hey, remember last year? Our bullpen was problematic then, too. We had nothing. And then we spun gold out of it. It's possible. I'm wondering if--again, hear me out--there's a chance of putting Javy in the pen as a middle relief guy. Less opportunity to inflict damage, and, more importantly, less pressure. I'm convinced it's the pressure of starting for the Yankees that is having him develop this fatal allergy to recording outs.

Just throwing that out there.

(Which, incidentally, actually, may be the same philosophy Javy subscribes to when he takes the mound. "Just throwing that out there.")

It's quite remarkable to consider that the O's managed to score 5 runs, considering they only had 4 instances of RISP (in which they went 0 for 4). But I guess when you're knocking out 3 dings against our once formidable bullpen, that's what happens. Andy only threw 77 pitches today, and improves to 4-0 thanks to (sort of) Aces finally closing out the game and taking us into an off day.

1 off day, then a 17 game stretch that begins in Hell, and ends in Toronto. Javy is getting worked around this weekend (to put it nicely) and I have this image of him and David Ortiz being relegated to some kids table outside of Fenway. The two of them are forced to be quarantined there. The Hazmats Table, so to speak...

I'm taking off from the office now. Heading home to sit on the roof and read and paint and whatever else my life consists of in the absence of a night game.


*I'm kidding. I don't know if I need to say that, but I am.