"It's great to be young and a Yankee."

Cue the alarmists! May 13 marks the day you can inhale a palpable wave of mild panic coursing through Yankee Universe. I think there is zero cause for concern, for what it's worth, but it just feels like the moment before the lashing out begins. Like how you can just TELL when your significant other is about to unload a ridicuolous "I want to fight and I won't be slowed by logic so tee up" moment.

Yesterday the Yanks snapped their longest losing streak of the season (3) and today they followed it up with a veritable drubbing at the hands of Verlander and the Tiggers.

Instead of focusing on the second half of the sentence, think about the first part. Our longest losing streak of the season is 3.

We're lucky when our biggest fear is the Yanks losing a second series. On the other side of town, our Queens brethren is dealing with the reality of being behind the Washington Nationals in the standings. Just putting things in perspective...

(So before I get into this recap, I'll acknowledge that, yeah, I'm roughly 8 hours late on this. I realllly could've used a win today. I'm also probably being a little melodramatic, but you know what it's like when you're having a crappy day, and then a pencil snaps, and it's "OH! Oh GOOOOOOD! OF COURSE! Of COURSE that would happen!" To make matters worse, my softball game ended in a TIE. A TIE of all things. It's an evil I thought was reserved for European sports and pathetic football teams. The normally 7-inning game went into 12, and finally it was determined that the majority of the players were more thirsty than competitive, and that even the competitive sect had to admit that the ball was getting virtually indiscernible as the evening grew darker. Final: 8-8. )

Blech. I'm tempted to quote George Brett here on his feelings on ties, but since his feelings involve analogies that may or may not induce a Barf-o-Rama on my end, I'm gonna go a different route...

Losing streaks are funny. If you lose at the beginning, you get off to a bad start. If you lose in the middle of the season, you're in a slump. If you lose at the end, you're choking. ~Gene Mauch

Rough couple of days for the Yanks. The Yanks are bested in Detroit, as the Tiggers become only the 2nd team of the year to edge out the champs. And to be sure, they did so in a really weird set of games.

First it's failed comeback, day late/buck short situation (4-5), then a quiet little shut out (0-2), then a "YEAH THATS WHAT I'M TALKING BOUT" rebound (8-0), then a "YEAH AND THAT'S WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT IT" whatever the opposite of rebound is (0-6).

I thought that when I tallied up the total runs of the series that it would reveal the Yanks getting outscored like whoa, but it was 12-13. Hmpf.

So CC not really that sharp today. But as I listened to my coworkers bemoan his bitch-slapped outing, I had to point out that even if our favority fatty had pitched a perfect game, we wouldn't be in any better shape than my softball team, because shutting down our opponents offense doesn't mean a whole lot if our own offense can't even plate a single player.

It also doesn't help that on April 18, 1983, Gregoria Cabrera brought a son into the world. Because that son has grown to unequivocally shred our mound on the mound. Today, he homered, doubled and drove in three runs for the Tigers while tubbo could only look on with fat dismay.

Here's the thing. The Tigers had some pitching problems, but they seemed to dissolve into pinstriped air. What's left is a team that shut out the Yankees twice in one series, and lineup whose heart is utterly terrifying. They're not just robust and consistent, but, worse, they're balanced. A-Jax, Magglio, Damon, Cabrera, and even Boesch complement each other so well.

Am I worried? No. Because the Tiggers' pitching is the equivalent of taping together a broken pair of glasses. Or sticking Splenda packets underneath a wobbly barstool. While their batting order is tight, their rotation, and its relationship to the rest of the team, is not.

Verlander is such a good pitcher, but I feel like he's always 3 pitches away from losing it as quickly as Rowengartner lost his juice.

Today, he whiffed 4 and gave up 4 hits over 6.2 IP. Our bats were useless, with notable exceptions of Posada (who continues to 100% defy all conventional notions of the aging process knockonwoodknockonwood), Jeter, and Gardner.

Again, I'm kinda surprised at the Yanks. Not really like them to be stifled by a straight up fastballer. If I'd seen the score without knowing the pitcher, I'd have guessed it was someone with a more off-speed repertoire like Willis.

What's with you, Yanks? You're better than that. Since when are you scared of a high 90's heater? Weirdos. Eh, we all have off days.

In MY view, the Yankees are doing everything right.

Just watch. We have the league right where we want 'em. "Never let anyone know what you're thinking." (That's in reference to the Yankees' furtive plans of AL demolition that we're about to witness...not my blogging.)

Tomorrow, AJ takes the mound and I could not be happier about this. It's perfect. We're gonna get our first pie-off of the season because it's the Twinkies. (See what I did there? Twinkies. Pies. Check.) Also, I love this week in Yankee history.

A few more final notes:

ESPN tells me in their game notes that:

"Several Tigers got Mohawk haircuts between games of Wednesday's doubleheader, including most of the relief pitchers. Closer Jose Valverde was one of the few exceptions, despite originally telling the other relievers that he would go along."

This is hilarious. What kind of journalism is this? (Not that I'm one to talk, I suppose, but that's playing it reallll fast and loose with the term "journalism.") Did ESPN not think to address an obvious query about why the hell the Tiggers decide to mohawk it? However, it is acutely relevant to point out that even though Valverde said he'd do it, he didn't. Thank you, ESPN, for that warm glimpse into the completely immaterial tribulations facing the Detroit clubhouse right now.

I'm very much looking forward to hearing the next chapter in HairGate 2010.

Ivan Nova pitched the last 2 innings in relief of CC. Ivan Nova sounds like his parents named him thinking that the principles of Wheel of Fortune applied to baby naming.

Kevin Russo got DFA-ed. Greg Golson still exists and is dumbly excited about things. I love new and confusing names. I'm not even being sarcastic.

Oh, and yeah Randy Winn continued his remarkably effective guerrilla marketing, in his noble campaign against plating RISP.

It's easy to live after the world's opinion, but it's hard to do so in the face of constantly coming to bat with runners on. Your bravery and commitment is laudable. Except replace laudable with "I hate you."