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In college, I wondered when everyone was going to figure out how easy it was to write a paper. Write the first half intelligent thought that comes to mind, expound on it in your opening paragraph, and then find passages from everywhere that supports it.

When I graduated, I wondered when everyone was going to figure out how easy it is not get fat. Stop eating when you're full. Don't eat if you're not hungry.

Now I'm wondering when everyone is going to figure out how to not let up grand slams to Arod. Don't intentionally walk Tex to load the bases.

That's pretty simple, but apparently it's a principle that escapes a fair share of team's managers.

Like today, for example.

The Yankee game was a little too close for comfort for the first 7 innings. For the second day in a row, I took in the game via the announcing stylings of Waldman and Sterling, so I could also take in the wonderful Memorial Day sun on my apartment roof.

Mitch Talbot held the Yanks to 2 runs for the lion's share of the game. I always get a kick out of pitchers with names like that. Think of the odds that guy had to overcome to become a professional athlete. Mitch Talbot? It sounds like a men's suit designer.

He didn't do half bad, though, despite giving up 9 hits. It wasn't until the Tribe's pen took over the game that the Yanks decided to go for the jugular. Rafael Perez came in for Talbot, after he had put Jeter on. And their sneaky decision to put in a lefty against Granderson backfired (as it has been doing quite a lot lately. Maybe the whole Grandy can't hit lefties thing is a bit of an antiquated stereotype. Just a theory.)

Then another Perez comes in for relief and makes an even worse decision: walking Tex to load the bases.

Waldman: "The count's 3-1. He's gotta throw a strike unless he wants to walk a run in. And with a 2-1 game, you can't afford that run. Yeah, I see where this is going..."

I think everyone did. Arod knew what pitch was coming. Everyone in the stadium knew what pitch was coming. And he struck it like it was set up for him on a tee. It was about as far a shot as has ever been hit in that stadium, past the 408ft sign, and into Monument Park.


Cano followed suit, and lined one into the stands so fast that Sterling didn't even have time to take a breath for his "it is high..." shout! He did, however, make up for it, by spurting out a bunch of utter nonsense, like, "Don't you know Robbie Cano! Back to back, nooo... BELLY TO BELLY!!"


Grandslams ALWAYS remind me of this story, but today, it was completely irrelevant. Because basically everyone managed to sidestep the awkward post-salami AB.

Swish doubles.

Miranda singles.

Cervelli sac flies.

By the time the Tribe was able to apply some kind of tourniquet to their bleeding, the score had gone from 2-1 to 8-1. Then I heard something I never ever thought I'd hear.

"This would be a perfect time to put Chan Ho Park in."

Good God.

Pettitte came out the game after pitching 7 brilliant innings. 5Ks. NO WALKS, which surprised me. Sterling tried multiple times to communicate how many Indians had been retired in a row, each time more confusing than the last. He was starting to sound like an indicted convict taking the stand in his own defense, stuttering and changing the story around so much that you start to drone out.

Pettitte, the classy guy he is, played down his performance:

Despite the fact he retired his last 14 batters, he attributed it to the weather. "I love day games, I'm not much of a night owl." This start improved him to 6-0 with a 1.12 ERA in the 6 day starts he's made this year.

Chan Ho Park managed to not give up 10 runs, which was actually mildly shocking, but he did manage to keep me in the sun for about a half hour longer than I would have liked to be. I reasoned that I'd go back inside after the game was over, as I was starting to roast and would have given my kingdom for a freezer to stick my head in.

He got out of the 8th inning ok, gets the first 2 outs of the 9th inning, and I'm already starting to taste the lemonade waiting for me in my fridge. I could hear through the radio Yankee Stadium chanting "1 MORE OUT! 1 MORE OUT!" I guess they were ready to retire indoors, as well.

That out didn't come as quickly as I would have liked. It was like being in a meeting that's slated to end at 2, but people keep asking more and more questions, and I've already been mentally programmed to leave at 2.

And when it keeps going to 2:15, 2:20, 2:30, you start to get inpatient. Which is what I was doing as Chan Ho Park started putting as many baserunners on as he could muster. Somehow, he only gave up 1 run, and the score ended up as 11-2.

Sterling noted, "Imagine hearing the final score to this game and thinking to yourself 'Hm the Yanks must have routed them.' But without watching you'd never know that for 90% of the afternoon, it was a 2-1 game!"

The Yanks offensive box score looks like some kind of multiplication table. The whole team just went to town today.

I mentioned yesterday that Sterling said that until the 3-4 batters start playing like 3-4 batters, the Yanks will be treading water. After this series, I think that the outlook has improved in spades.

Be afraid, AL. Be very afraid.


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