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Wait, something happened in baseball this week other than the perfect game that wasn't a perfect game?

That Armando Galaragga. Such a media whore, ya know?

Kidding, kidding. I'd hate to be the cynic in the "Lionization of the Joyce-Armando Renewal of Love" human interest story.

I thought the story had run its course but was amazed to see so many letters to the editor in the Post today. Even more amazed to see most of them adamantly argued for the overturning of the call, even going so far as to imply it'd be a complete abomination if the kid WASN'T awarded the perfecto.

People are nuts. Yeah, it's totally a reasonable request to ask baseball to overturn a blown call so history can be made. God, Selig, if you're gonna sanction the ASG, you shouldn't be surprised when fans think their unique cries and whines and pouting are grounds enough to dictate the shape of the game.

(Speaking of ASG, why again is it in Phoenix next year? And not for nothing, but I think everyone's being a little too over the top about playing there. Do professional baseball players really not want to go there because of the whole racial profiling risk? Yeah, I'm so sure someone's going to march up to a busload of Major League athletes and accuse them of sneaking into the country. "Hello, Mr. Rivera? Yeah I was just wondering if you could turn around and put your hands on the roof of the car...")

And for the rankings....

14. O's (14)
Yup, this just about covers it.

13. Mariners (12)

They took the series from Minnesota, but Seattle is so horrendous that at this point, everyone just wants to see what kind of wheeling and dealing is on the inevitable horizone. They're very lucky there are so many atrocious teams this year, otherwise their consistently destructive offense would be a lot more egregious.

12. Royals (11)
Zach Greinke is 1-7 in 12 starts this hyear. Most recently, Luke Hochevar struck out 10 and lost the game. Opponents are batting .222 against him. Congratulations to the Royals for outdoing the New York Mets' previously unparalleled practice of throwing cold water on any and all potentially hot pitchers. Face it, Queens. You're wear rotations go to die.

11. Tribe (13)
Man, you guys stink. You've hit 35 homeruns so far this year. That's how many the Yankees hit in the first month of the season. Tell you what, Cleveland. You take the next 2 from the annoyingly (and newly) cocky Sux fans, and I'll bump you up at least 2 spots next week.

10. Southsiders (10)

Ok, let's just call a spade a spade here. The O's are in a league of their own in terms of horror. After that, the M's, Royals, ChiSox, and Tribe are all nearly indistinguishable in terms of their disgusting nightly performances. All I kept hearing about from the remaining loyalists was how "THIS WAS GOING TO BE THEIR BIG STRETCH OF RIGHTING THE SHIP!" They've launched into said watershed period by dropping the first 2 at home.

9. A's (6)

Alright, so Oakland is basically just emulating the living patterns of my hamster. I've had it for 6 months, and I still can't figure out its sleeping schedule. Sometimes I'll wake up at 7am to the thing tearing it up in his little wheel thing. Other times I spend a good 48 hours having to periodically poke it to make sure it's not dead and just napping. And other times I come home from work and it's acting like a puppy, racing to the front of the cage and standing on its hind legs, trying to reach out and grab me. Don't EVER pick up someone from the A's for your fantasy team. It's like trying to establish a relationship with Alex DeLarge.

8. Texas (8)
The Rangers have lost their last 2, and the team that at one point had a stranglehold on the childish AL West is now battling to get back on top. Their schedule is cake for the next month, so if the Angels revert to form and the Rangers play AS GOOD AS THEY SHOULD BE PLAYING BECAUSE THEIR ROSTER IS F'N RIDICULOUS, then they stand a chance at becoming a first round playoff disappointment. Dare to dream, boys. Dare to dream.

7. Tiggers (9)
Their pitching makes them look at lot better than they really are. Except, their pitching isn't as good as everyone thinks it is. Confusing. Do those negate each other? Whatever, if Detroit wants to establish any kind of momentum they have to stop throwing the ball away like a bunch of kids playing keepaway with someone's lunch bag. They lead the league in errors (45) and balks (4). A bunch of spazzes, the lot of 'em.

6. [Devil] Rays (3)
Oh, yeah. No big. The great and powerful Rays have fallen from the permaspot at the peak to the much less desirable range of "par." That's what happens when you go 5-5. (Other sites still rank them as #1, leading me to believe that power rankings generally just list the teams in order of their record. How does this make sense? Why even do it every week then?) Listen, the Rays may be the best team in baseball, but as far as last week is concerned, they've lost 8 of the last 13 games. We're gaining on you...

5. Twinkies (1)

Eh, they didn't have a BAD week per se. But taking 3 of 4 in Oakland isn't that impressive. Is it? You can never tell, really. I suppose I'll give them the benefit of the doubt since their entire team has been virtually depleted as of late. To tell you the truth, I really want to like the Twins, but they're just boring the hell out of me right now.

4. BoSux (5)
Still firing on all cylinders, the morons from Beantown are scrambling up the rear. Have you ever been in a situation where you should be nervous, but it has the complete opposite effect on you? Sort of like when Endy made that big catch in the NLCS, and conventional wisdom would suggest that the Mets were going to ride that straight to the title. Instead, me and my sisters knew it was the end for the Amazin's. Momentum is like a paralyzing injection for them. And similarly, makeshift arrogance is the kiss of death for Boston. Paul Pierce may want to keep that in mind, as well.

3. World Series Champions (2)
You wouldn't guess it based on the amount of moaning and groaning we Yank fans have been doing about our offense, but the Bombers are actually ranked first in BA and OBP, and hover in the top 3 of all the rest of 'em. Our pitcher is the 3rd best in the league, our runs allowed the 2nd best, and opponents are batting .242 against our surging rotation. And the best part is, the Yankees are always a second-half-of-the-season team... (Maybe that's when Tex will get a bead on the ball again?)

2. J's (4)
I'm putting them at 2 ONLY because they just took 2 of 3 from the Yanks this weekend. But if I have to hear one more talking head sputter proudly about how crazy good the J's offense is, I'm going to stick my hat in a vat of tar. Indeed, Toronto's slugfest is the most exciting thing to hit the Rogers Center in ever, Jerry. In ever. But what kills me is that when the Yanks do this, everyone throws them under the bus for neglecting the basic tenets of small ball. When it's someone else, it's blandy exciting.

1. Angels (7)
That's right! The Halos have made it to the top, on account of going 9-1 in the last 10. They outscored the M's 27-7 during their sweep, and they're currently riding a 6 game streak. This is impressive so long as you choose to ignore the fact their wild and crazy run has been against the powerhouses of Kansas City, Seattle, and now the A's.

I wonder what that's like, to be a fan of the team everyone looks forward to playing. Seriously. Must be like having a child who's picked on. You wish you could go to battle for him/her every day and tell everyone to just back the f off, but you can't because you'd just make yourself look worse. The difference here, I guess, is that I don't know if it's possible for teams like KC to look much worse.

Well, you know what I meant.


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