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I watched this game twice. That's how good it was. Like New York, New York. (I spent a good 15 minutes looking for "The Office" clip of Michael Scott saying, "New York, New York! The city so nice they named it twice...Manhattan is the other name."'re just gonna have to use your imagination.)

I also watched it twice because the first time around I was in and out of sleep. I swear to God, I don't know what the hell is wrong with my body lately. It's like it's saying "OH NO YOU DON'T. You think you're staying awake? Really?? BECAUSE I HAVE OTHER PLANS FOR YOU, BITCH. You treated me like an amusement park for 3 months, and now it's PAYBACK TIME."

Stupid body.

"Did you see that throw??" was the text that originally woke me up.


"Are you awake?"


"Ah. So you didn't see the slam??"

THAT woke me up.

"WHAT?! No."

I rewound my DVR back to the point of the game when I had dozed off, which coincidentally was a pitch before Cano took French deep.

French deep sounds like a Frenchman saying "French dip." Just saying...

When I watched the game again with my buddy (the aforementioned texter), I said, "Cano is looking very Manny Ramirez-like in his post-HR stance. I'm into it, though."

"Yeah he can do that. Because he can. Cano can. Look at that swing, how it pops off the bat."

It's amazing, because half the time he goes yard it looks like he got UNDER the ball a little. And then when he actually hits it square on the nose, the thing is like a fucking rocket leaving the stadium. Unreal.

Now every time I see him do something like that, I can't help but recall my conversation with Casey and get flummoxed. HOW can anyone say this guy isn't an MVP, or how there's any remote comparison between him and Martin Prado? (Although, granted, they could BOTH be MVPs, I suppose.)

The Yanks end up taking this one 10-0, which is excellent, and makes me think of the quote my mystery blogger referenced a few weeks ago:

"When the Yankees score eight runs in the first inning and slowly pull away."
-Col. Jacob Ruppert, when asked what he considered a perfect day at the ballpark.

Ha. Awesome.

That was sort of like this game, except it didn't all happen in the 1st inning.

Austin Kearns went deep to put the Yanks on the board 1-0. And when you look at this guy's numbers in the past few weeks, it's really just absurd. Bob Lorenz tells us during the rain delay that 2 out of the 3 players the Yanks acquired are working out brilliantly.

(Hope Lance Berkman wasn't watching this one from the DL! Or maybe I do. Sometimes negative critique is the best kind of positive reinforcement. Sometimes.)

Fatso won his 17th game, and MAN, did he look sharp, albeit of course insanely morbidly obese. I've taken to picturing him not in pinstripes, but in something a little more like this t-shirt I once saw on a chick walking around my old office building in Times Square.

(As my sis always says, no one in the world is happier than a fat person eating ice cream. Ah, truer words never spoken.)

And no pitcher in the league is happier than a fat one who just banked his league-leading 17th W. WELL DONE, TUBBO.COM!!!

Arod was out of the line-up again, because he's on the DL. And listen to this: "New York is a confounding 12-0 this season without the three-time MVP, placed on the 15-day disabled list Saturday with a strained left calf."


Oh, geez, are we gonna have to start listening to people talk about the Arod curse again? Good grief. I like Girardi's take on it a LOT more:

"It just shows you how deep our lineup is," manager Joe Girardi said.

Good point, G.

Jorge went yard, too. Again. Cano hit 4 in the last week's worth of games, and Kearns is batting .341 in the month of August, SLG .561, with an OPS .961. He continues to stare blankly while doing so. (Or, as my sister's boss notes, "He looks the same whether he hits tie-breaking double to the warning track, or whether you hand him a fistful of raisins.")

Here's yet ANOTHER interesting stat on the day:

Since he joined the Yankees last season, Teixeira has been intentionally walked to load the bases 10 times. The batter behind him is 7 for 8 with four homers and 25 RBIs.

You know what the best part is? Listening to managers try to JUSTIFY their decision to intentionally walk Tex. It was hilarious dissecting Gardenshire's ridiculous rationale a few months ago:

In the words of Kim Jones in the post-game, "Arod's got 586 homeruns... are you really sure you wanna do this?"

But hey, history means nothing to Minnesota. Gardenshire, in trying to explain his costly intentional walk move, said, "We're aware of the numbers."

Are you? Because the fact of the matter is, Arod is 4 for 4 with two homers and 14 RBIs following international walks to Tex.

Maybe the Twinks are aware of the numbers, but after 11 straight losses to the Bomb Squad, they've just simply repressed them.
And similarly, M's manager Daren Brown sheepishly notes, "I tried to look at what's our best option to get out of that without giving up anything. Instead of trying to make five or six good pitches to Teixeira and Cano, you make a good pitch to Cano and maybe you get out of the inning with a ground ball."

Oh, COME ON. You know what I always tell my dad? (And he never listens to me, but who cares, his word still = Bible.) That said, I always tell him, "If you don't know the answer to something, say 'I don't know.'" Because there are SO many times, when he's telling me all about how to fix my phone charger or something when I'm like, "Ok are you making this up? Because I believe everything you say, so if you tell me that the first thing I have to do is throw it in boiling water, I'm gonna do it."


"Ok, then say I DON'T KNOW."

SIMILARLY, managers should just say "Ok I took a gamble, and I don't know why I did it. But it was so stupid. WHY would I walk Tex? Ugh. Kill me now."

But instead, they're no better than the guys in your fantasy league who randomly trade the farm for Brandon Phillips or something, and then act like they knew what they were doing all along.

So anyways. FANTASTIC win from the Yanks. Let's keep this momentum up. I don't know if it's because Arod is out or what, but who cares. A win is a win. Momentum is momentum.

And to use another hackneyed managerial line, "It is what it is."

And "it" when it comes to the Yankees, is "excellence."


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