"It's great to be young and a Yankee."

The fireworks just started going off. I think Ohyob ruined fireworks for me when he pointed out something that actually had always bothered me about them: they never evolve. I want to see some kind of gyroball-esque firework. You know, like the equivalent of a pitch that's never been seen or done before. I want to see a firework that spells out something. If they can make a smiley face firework, they sure as hell should be able to make a Yankee logo one, yeah? Ohyob hates everything, though.

I prefer lightening, anyway.
Happy July 4th! Happy birthday, America! The Yankees celebrated today by avoiding being swept by the pesky Devil Rays. They are so f'n annoying. I may just be saying this because when they beat the Yankees, the fashion in which they do so just really highlight the holes in the Yanks' game. Or, worse, they just highlight embarrassing things. Like Tex's error at 1st that cost them the game on Monday. Or 3-0 lead they squandered to blow the game in the 9th on Tuesday, which included a monstrosity play from Martin.

(Who reallly beat himself up over it, to the point where I don't even want to harp on it that much: "It's a bad one for me," Martin said. "Offensively I've been pretty bad all year, but defensively, normally, is kind of a salvage, but today was just a bad one overall. I felt like this is pretty much my loss. If I make that play in the third inning, it's a whole different ball game." That's sad. I've felt like that before, like "ok, well the Yanks lost today, but at least work is going well!" And then I'll have a shitty day at the office and it's the worst feeling ever.)

However, today the Yanks won! Which is huge because who wants to go into a Fenway series on the heels of a sweep? I mean, who wants to go to Fenway period, I guess. Not me.

The Yanks had lost the last 9 to the Devil Rays at the tin can stadium. Which is insane, really. But you know when they had that kind of issue last? 2009. They lost the first 8 to the Red Sox. And then they went to Fenway and beat the 2-0 in a 15-inning testament ot lunacy and nerves. I don't the Trop really has the bandwidth to support those kind of dramatics and intensity, but still. I'll take a 4-3 9-inning win on a lazy fourth of July afternoon.

(Speaking of, is anyone else blown away by the fact WE HAVE TO GO TO WORK TOMORROW??! Has the 4th never fallen on a Wednesday before? Why is this so weird? I can't wrap my head around it. I mean, last night I was out like I was entering into a week long vacation. And today I spent on the roof listening to the game on the radio--2 years in this apartment and I finally bit the bullet and bought a kiddie pool to bring up there. And since I had just put in a load of dishes, I was 100% out of clean cups which amounted to drinking straight vodka out of a measuring cup, while submerged in a hot pink inflatable pool. Yeah, I don't know why I'm single either.)

There are few things in this life better than listening to a Yankee day game during the summer, and intermittenly nodding off and waking up to the sounds of the Yankees doing something good. It was only a 4-3 game, but somehow the afternoon was laden with excited burst after excited burst (pause) from Sterling. And the real kind, too, not the high-far-caught kind.

But, just in case there were concerns about the lunatic equilibrium being thrown off, by Sterling's notably lucid game-calling, there was this gem from Maddon in the post-game which ranks up there with the most ridiculous things I've ever heard ever. (As always, nod goes to the ex for the all-time winning one.)

But Maddon gives him a run for his money with this:

"Kyle Farnsworth is a big part of our present and our future. For us to get to the promised land, he's got to perform well, which he shall. I've never seen him do that before, but he just needs a little more work."

Any time you're putting Kyle Farnsworth at the helm of your team's dreams of nirvana, then you're basically lingering in this type of mental arena:

You know?

It's like, Good for you for bucking the criticism and bucking the gimp leg thing and continuing to show you're still a member of the team, dammit, and are gonna do your part.

In terms of the pitching...well, good God. Phelps whiffed 8 in 4 innings. Where the hell did he come from? What a fantastic outing. The Yankee pitchers have a way of doing that, actually. It's so endearing. Not the whiffing part, but the way they pitch the games of their life when they know their days may be numbered. When they know their performance in this game may, at most, just make the decision a little more difficult for the coaches when their regular starter becomes an option again.

Well played, Phelps. Well played.

Additionally, I've been insanely remiss in not calling out the LWM All-Star that is Soriano. Earlier in the season I definitely identified him as the most irrelevant reliever on the team. He had brought nothing to the table, good or bad. (Though I guess no one ever really wants something bad being brought to the table, by design.)

Now? He's been a life-saver. And a game-saver. Only one blown save in 20 chances. Not bad, R-So. D-Rob didn't give up a run because he's D-Rob and he had 2 bad days in the last week, so what. He's gold. Someone who isn't really gold, but I guess may as well be iron sulfite ("Your anagrams are showing, Dr. Lector. Louis Friend? Iron Sulfite. Fool's gold...") is Boone Logan.

I am not comfortable with being comfortable with Boone Logan. That makes sense if you think about it. He's been pretty solid as far as I can tell, but for some reason I have this like perma-uneasiness about him. Maybe since he came from the Braves, who I look at as a bunch of lawless hellions with bats. Boone Logan? C'mon, he's is the wrong industry. You need to be hanging out with tumbleweeds and saving girls from train tracks, with a name like Boone Logan.

But the thing about him is that all anyone can tell is "as far as we can tell." And I base this on the fact the Yankees seem to win when he pitches. He's 3-0 now, with the July 4th victory. That's right, B-Lo doesn't have a loss yet. And he got the W today. He's also the only reliever that came in today and gave up runs. 2 runs in 2 innings, including a bomb to a guy I swear only hits homeruns for one of 2 reasons:

1.) Because he hates the Yankees so much that he takes a break from being the poster child for inconsistent batting, just to take 'em deep."

2.) Because he hates the institution of fantasy baseball so much that he took it upon himself to drive ever person who drafts him.

Carlos Pena. Argh. Close but no cigar.

But still closer to that cigar than, say,Kyle Farnsworth. The promise of utopia that has been inexplicably assigned to Farnsworth, wasn't exactly thriving today, as he let up 3 hits, 3 runs, and 4 BB. All within the 0.01 inning he was on the mound.

Why not just bring Tanyon Sturtze into the mix? (Ok, I like Tanyon. But I question how the Yankees's brass came to the decision to invite Sturtze to Old Timer's Day. (After Tanyon pitched his 2 innings Waldman does a quickly little post-outing interview: "So how did it feel to get the last out out to get you out of the inning?" I think his response was something about how great it was to see so many people etc. Really his response should have been, "Novel. It feels novel, Suzyn.")

Alright, my eyes are failing me now. And I have to go to work tomorrow.Or rather, today. I have to wake up in 5 hours, and/or spend those hours doing work. The first harbinger of a return ot blogging: my complete dismissal of all thigns relating to "a good night's sleep," including its related clinical benefits.

As Mo said,"If I have to go two, I'll go 2." And if I have to sleep 2, I'll sleep 2. Or less. It's baseball time.

Enjoy the off day, and I'll see you when the NYY take on the Mess from the East.

Cheers to closing out a remarkably ambrosial Independence Day!

Fluctuat nec mergitur.