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Shame on you, Encarnacion for hitting the ball so hard. I had to say that because that may have been one of the oddest exclamations of cheerful contempt that I’ve ever heard escape from our boy Sterling’s mouth. So, yeah, he said that on July 17, 20012, which makes July 16, 2012 the last day in my life I didn’t know the joy of saying “Shame on you” in regards to a baseball player.

HOWEVAH, the aforementioned assignation of shame is ostensibly misplaced. Much in the way a chick takes it out on the Other Woman when her boyfriend cheats, instead of waging war on the slime who bedded another woman in the first place.
The true shame, blame, and other indications of culpability regardless of their rhyming value, should be placed squarely on the wiry frame of one Ivan Nova.

Sorry, Nova. But that was far from a super outing. And, worse, it was far from a Yankee performance. Everyone pitches a bad game once in a while (save this guy, I guess), but Yankees don’t typically have bad games in situations like this.

I mean, come on, guy! It’s not like I’m saying, “Why can’t you be more like Andy?” Well, yes and no. Yes, I’m saying you should be more like Andy, and no, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be more like Andy.
See how all the Yankee pitchers have been suiting up loaded for bear lately? That’s because we’re in a bit of a bind right now. An annoying unnecessary one, at that, since there was a 10-game cushion at one point.

But, that’s neither here nor there. So where is it? Seriously. I hate that expression, because what does saying “it’s neither here nor there” actually mean? It’s,,, where? Here and there are the only options, so if it is neither of those places, it doesn’t exist, yeah? I guess maybe the here-there thing actually may work in this case, though, since, indeed, the 10-game lead no longer exists.

Nor did any runs for the Yankees tonight, which amounted to a 6-0 loss against a team that has now shaved their Games Back number to 22. Maybe there’ll be some kind of NIT-esque one-game playoff between the Jays and Boston.
More relevant, however, it that the Yankees are back to being only 1 game ahead of the O’s, and the !@#$ As lost to Texas. Which means the O’s got doubly helped out tonight, while they sat at home and caught up on all their DVR-ed fall season premieres.

Fan-f’n-tastic. As if the O’s haven’t already irritated the shit out of me enough, now they’re rubbing it in my face that they’re on a magical rollercoaster of Law & Order: SVU-evoked emotion, splashing around in the whimsical duck pond of “New Girl”delight, and basking in eminent glory of another season of the Office…while I’m trying to calculate how many bottles of Pepto I need to pick up before next week starts.

I guess, in fairness, the O’s aren’t really rubbing it in (pause), so much as I’m not only inventing scenarios, but then inexplicably rubbing my own face in them. Which…yeah, my mental deterioration is adhering to schedule. One week left of regular season baseball (hopefully not one week left of all baseball, though). My psychic crippling is right on schedule.

So, the game. Morrow, Lincoln, and Oliver (the law offices of..?) 5-hit the Yankees, while Nova, Color Swatch, D-Lo, and Aardvaark give up 6 runs on 6 hits. Actually Color “The RIGHT Lefty Specialist” Swatch shouldn’t get lumped in with those dudes since he only threw one pitch, and it wasn’t of the Farnsworth/Sturtze variety, aka no one rocketed it into 161st street.

Three of the Yanks’ hits came off the bat of Cano and 2 came from R-Mart. Thanks, guys. It’s like all the nothings you did for the last 5 months are totally negated! Ha, I’m kidding, I hate when people do that.
They had good games, and that fact remains whether they have a season of good games, or if it’s their first good game. Treat everything as an isolated incident, and it’s a lot harder to shake your spirit.

Whatever, I’m still disgruntled, vacuum-existing or not, the Yankees still lost.

The Yankees stranded 7 runners, but on the birght side, they were privileged enough to see how a team is SUPPOSED to play. Lawrie hits a 2-run shot in the 3rd. Encarnacion shamefully plates another 2 with a  double that landed close to the short porch. Phew! 4-0 is NOTHING, we can come back from that no problem.

Except that never happened.

Encarnacion’s single [shamefully] plates a runner in the 7th, and the Yankees are soon down to their find 6 outs. Which they didn’t cash in on until first torturing us. Arod gets HBP, pointlessly but he IS Arod so it’s sort of like when my buddy John said he doesn’t understand why prosecutors are burdened with having to prove motive in rape-homicides.
“Isn’t the motive always, ‘to have sex’? What’s the confusion?” Similarly, Arod gets plunked because he’s Arod so his at bat was wildly offensive at baseline. (Not to me. But to most.)

Oh, and Arenciba went yard in the 8th. Gluttons. They didn't even need those runs.

Back to square 1. With 3 games left in Toronto before returning home to kick off what should be a totally stress-free series against our pals in Boston.
Paene Miseresco mea pauper amicus Glenn, qui est super Cuspis Introducti ad inhumanum sociopath id est CYC durante October baseball. Staplers, facere bonos armis.


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