"It's great to be young and a Yankee."

Loss.

Two day games in a row? Is that normal? Yes, that's what was most notable about the 2nd home game. The fact it was another 1:05 start time. Not the drubbing the Yanks received at the hands of a team whose name is almost always uttered with the same inflection/intonation as someone who says he/she met his/her significant other online. You know what I mean, it's like this staunch loyalty mixed with a slint hint of apologetic sheepishness.

(Oh yeah, no post for the home opener because I was in attendance, and now that I'm at the ripe old age of 33, a day of drinking beer in 40 degree weather in a relatively tight ie intense game, renders me so useless that even when me and my buddies tried to extend the celebration to a bar post-game, I  realized I had exactly enough energy left in me to get home, do laundry, and google "how to plant tomato seeds." And even that was an overestimate, since I never made it to the google.)

So after beating the Orioles in a tight game on Monday, I returned to work Tuesday and patched together a game-viewing experience through a variety of media, because no one likes an employee who parks herself in the kitchen and changes "Law & Order" to a Yankee game.

Opening Day Win.

Actually, I think it's one of those weird workplace standards where it's ok to eat lunch in the kitchen to follow the stories of two separate yet equally important groups: the police, who investigate crime; and the district attorneys, who prosecute the offenders.

But skipping in with your grilled cheese and getting highly invested in a day game--for whatever reason--can potentially undermine your work ethic.

Whatever, I was very much okay with getting the stoic updates from Gamecast rather than indulging in a depressing film noir showing of a dramatic shots of dejected fans.

And I can count myself lucky, since how much does it suck to go to the trouble of using a day off from work, only to witness Showalter's boys smack us around for 20 hits, seemingly every other one of those a long ball.

Nova didn't last 4 innings even, and got yanked probably later than he should have, but it's not like the bullpen did anything helpful in terms of putting a tourniquet on the run hemorrhaging. Every O got a hit AND a run--ridiculous--which is a quantity matched on by the number of apologies/explanations/self-flagellating deprecation comments that Nova stammered in the post-game.

Unfortunately, he failed to default to the best ever rationale ever given by a Yankee pitcher. Or maybe just ever given by a human being, actually.

I like this breed of TMI better than the the "sinker ball was in the zone, off day, blah blah" TMI. The only person whose little "layman's terms" pitching clinics I really enjoy are those of Al Leiter when he's in the booth.

In the land of silver lining stuff, there's Jacoby who continues to be a better-than-bad-it's-good pick-up. Like, a lot better-than-bad. I hope he doesn't feel like Adam Banks when he got traded to the slow-starting Mighty Ducks.

Then there's Robinson Sheffield who Ollie lol-ed me when I impulsively grabbed him up in fantasy after Game 2. He's putting up a bunch of Kevin Maas-esque binge stats, so at least Elias Sports Bureau is keeping busy.

See?? Tell me you can't see where I'm coming from...

Kelly Johnson had a bomb in the 8th, a quiet one, which is somewhat comical since you know what would happen if Arod had gone yard late in the game when the Yanks were down by 10? Mostly, a lot of vitiol, etc.

I was actually surprised Kelly Johnson's average was as low as it was when it showed up on the Jumbotron at Monday's game. Hasn't he been the requisite John Olerud of the bunch, the put-yout-head-down-and-work-and-do-your-job-satisfactorially-if-not-spectacularly?

Beltran chipped in a ribbie, but when the entire Baltimore line-up is eating pieces of shit sinker balls for breakfast, the luke-warm stabs at run-manufacturing are kind of wasted and all.

You know, eating pieces of shit sinker balls for breakfast probably wouldn't do your stomach any favors.

Oh yeah, and speaking of luke-warm and favors (pause?), Soriano hit a home run. Fantastic. Now he's never going to f'n try to get base hits, like, ever.

And speaking of things that don't happen in ever, Super Mario played 1B today. Normal. Nope. God, please don't let Girardi start tapdancing into the Maddon Scientology School of Management. Please, no.

Anyway, Wednesday's game brings our expensive toy gun to the mound for his first Bronx debut. Not sure how forgiving the stadium's going to be if he gets TANAKA-ED AROUND. Yep, said it. Can't unsay it.