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Settle down, Yankees.
SETTLE. DOWN.
Although I'm not really one to talk, having been on a decided high strung edge for the last week and a half. Working til midnight did zero to mollify this.
Getting text updates from my friends about the circus of a game exacerbated it.
Having been quarantined in a conference room for the last 6 hours discussing the finer points of venous thromboembolism in hip replacement surgery (no dice on trying to shoehorn ARod into the campaign), I'm catching the DVRed version.
I know the final score. I know the cliff notes version of the game. But it's the proverbial car crash I can't divert my eyes from. (Is this a true theory? I feel like the whole "having to watch, like a car crash" simile is on par with "like learning to ride a bike" in the not-all-that-accurate silo.)
Mythoughts manic reactions to an aggressively beleaguering evening:
My
- I only like brawls if we're winning. Period. With 2 exceptions:
1.) I'd be ok with a brawl when losing if and only if we were losing by a verrrry marginal degree AND the deficit is on account of a completely, no-question, blown call that was related to some extent to an asinine move from the opponent. Like if the Yanks were down by 2 because the umps ruled the go ahead run safe at the plate when he was clearly out, and then the runner proceeded to talk shit to our catcher.
2.) If they're directed at idiot chicks who are opposing fans.*
- Tonight did not fall into either of these categories, and so I'm not really thrilled about what went down in the Bronx. If nothing else, it just incenses your opponents who you still have to play 2 more times. Remember when the Mets had like a 92 game division lead a few Septembers ago? Only to squaunder it away and end up in a must-win situation against the Marlins for their final regular season game?
- The night prior to this notorious Mets collapse, saw its share of bench clearers (and to this day, no one has any idea what the hell started them), and I have to wonder if the Mets would have won that fateful final game if they were playing a less fired up team. The Marlins hadn't had anything to play for, really. Until the Mets gave them motivation to come out swinging. Something to think about, Yankees, before you come roaring out of the gates and into a brawl.
- So here's how it went down: Carlson throws behind Posada's head. Bad move. The Yanks get particularly raucous when it comes to Jorge. Posada made a worse move though and brushed Carlson when he was crossing home on Gardner's hit. Personally, I probably would have done something to the same effect. If not a brush, then something equally obnoxious. But I have the luxury (sort of) of having the maturity of Nelson Muntz. POSADA SHOULD KNOW BETTER. Sweet Christ.
- Benches cleared after Carlson took a fruitless swing at Posada, who couldn't run a 40 minute-mile if he trained all year, but for some reason has cat-like reflexes and agility when engaged in combat. "I tell ya, Suzyn. Ya just can't figure baseball!"
- Not surprisingly Rod Barajas and Shelley Duncan get into a notably rough scuffle. I do not envy Barajas. I saw Shelley Duncan out once a few years ago, and wanted to see what a bona fide #17 elbow bump felt like. You'd think he'd ease up on a chick who weighs a buck and change, but I could have
been Giambi for the amount of power he put into his end of the elbow bump, which quite literally carried me halfway across the room. This., of course, is one of the many reason Shelley is unassailably awesome. - Halladay carved us up, again. Mitre didn't stand a chance. 50% of the hits he let up were HRs. This wouldn't be too terrible if he had only let up 2 hits. But half of 8= career high for Mitre. Congratulations on this milestone!
- 4 runs on 15 hits. I actually feel sick to my stomach. (Expression #3 of the night I'm going to call into question. Why is it "to your stomach"? Can you feel sick to your ankles? Isn't that like saying "irregardless"? I hate everything tonight, I think.)
- 5-16 with RISP. And only 4 runs? HOW IS THIS MATHEMATICALLY POSSIBLE?
- And, of course, no bad night would be complete without a cup of Joba News Salt being poured in the proverbial open wound: Girardi said RHP Joba Chamberlain will be "a full-fledged starter" by the end of the season. Sigh. The hits keep coming.
- If we're looking for silver linings, I guess this means Girardi will probably have to become familiar with the actual definition of "starter," thereby engendering the realization that putting someone in for 14 pitches in the first inning of the game may mean he technically "started" the game, but doesn't necessarily categorize said pitcher AS A STARTER.
- I think the only way this Tuesday could have been worse was if I spilled coffee on myself in the morning. Just as bags of sour/gummy candy 100% eclipse and void any of the day's pitfalls, spilling coffee on myself is an irreparable evil that ruins the day no matter what.
I wonder if the Yanks say the same thing about Halladay.
So they need a BIG win tomorrow. And the next day. In fact, I need them to have at least a 4 game streak to bring my blood pressure back to a healthy range. I'll settle down if you do, Yanks. Deal.
*Once at a Sox-Yanks game, my sister starts slinging hilarious insults at the brontosauruses sitting 6 rows down from us. "Lauren. We can't talk shit. We're losing by about 3400 runs." "If we're gonna lose, we may as well have fun doing it." Fair point. That night also lives in infamy as the night an approximately 800-lb Sux fan chick took a swing at my sister. Apparently she didn't like being told to check her obesity at Stan's next time. Women are so sensitive.
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I think I saw your sisters brawl on you tube...and like your rules of engagement
Posada should know better he can not get hurt or suspended...and I have not seen a Yank coach get into it since Zim..do it Joe, get some!!!!
Now starters look iffy Andy dead arm, AJ with his head up his Arse and Joba with 27 pitch count...
Ranger note: Giambi lent out his mustache to Maccarone(not sure if its pronounced like the cookie or the pasta)
Any way CYC lay off the sweets will ya and get some rest
Posada: decided he needed a vacation as well, suspension will do it
Me: Already put a notch in the loss column as soon as I saw "Halladay v. Mitre."
In fact, each poor outing by Mitre is kind of relief, since it decreases the chance he might actually make the playoff roster. I'm starting to wonder if he knows some dark secret of Girardi's from their time together on the Marlins. Nothing short of blackmail could keep him in the rotation at this point.