"It's great to be young and a Yankee."

Loss.

Two day games in a row? Is that normal? Yes, that's what was most notable about the 2nd home game. The fact it was another 1:05 start time. Not the drubbing the Yanks received at the hands of a team whose name is almost always uttered with the same inflection/intonation as someone who says he/she met his/her significant other online. You know what I mean, it's like this staunch loyalty mixed with a slint hint of apologetic sheepishness.

(Oh yeah, no post for the home opener because I was in attendance, and now that I'm at the ripe old age of 33, a day of drinking beer in 40 degree weather in a relatively tight ie intense game, renders me so useless that even when me and my buddies tried to extend the celebration to a bar post-game, I  realized I had exactly enough energy left in me to get home, do laundry, and google "how to plant tomato seeds." And even that was an overestimate, since I never made it to the google.)

So after beating the Orioles in a tight game on Monday, I returned to work Tuesday and patched together a game-viewing experience through a variety of media, because no one likes an employee who parks herself in the kitchen and changes "Law & Order" to a Yankee game.

Opening Day Win.

Actually, I think it's one of those weird workplace standards where it's ok to eat lunch in the kitchen to follow the stories of two separate yet equally important groups: the police, who investigate crime; and the district attorneys, who prosecute the offenders.

But skipping in with your grilled cheese and getting highly invested in a day game--for whatever reason--can potentially undermine your work ethic.

Whatever, I was very much okay with getting the stoic updates from Gamecast rather than indulging in a depressing film noir showing of a dramatic shots of dejected fans.

And I can count myself lucky, since how much does it suck to go to the trouble of using a day off from work, only to witness Showalter's boys smack us around for 20 hits, seemingly every other one of those a long ball.

Nova didn't last 4 innings even, and got yanked probably later than he should have, but it's not like the bullpen did anything helpful in terms of putting a tourniquet on the run hemorrhaging. Every O got a hit AND a run--ridiculous--which is a quantity matched on by the number of apologies/explanations/self-flagellating deprecation comments that Nova stammered in the post-game.

Unfortunately, he failed to default to the best ever rationale ever given by a Yankee pitcher. Or maybe just ever given by a human being, actually.

I like this breed of TMI better than the the "sinker ball was in the zone, off day, blah blah" TMI. The only person whose little "layman's terms" pitching clinics I really enjoy are those of Al Leiter when he's in the booth.

In the land of silver lining stuff, there's Jacoby who continues to be a better-than-bad-it's-good pick-up. Like, a lot better-than-bad. I hope he doesn't feel like Adam Banks when he got traded to the slow-starting Mighty Ducks.

Then there's Robinson Sheffield who Ollie lol-ed me when I impulsively grabbed him up in fantasy after Game 2. He's putting up a bunch of Kevin Maas-esque binge stats, so at least Elias Sports Bureau is keeping busy.

See?? Tell me you can't see where I'm coming from...

Kelly Johnson had a bomb in the 8th, a quiet one, which is somewhat comical since you know what would happen if Arod had gone yard late in the game when the Yanks were down by 10? Mostly, a lot of vitiol, etc.

I was actually surprised Kelly Johnson's average was as low as it was when it showed up on the Jumbotron at Monday's game. Hasn't he been the requisite John Olerud of the bunch, the put-yout-head-down-and-work-and-do-your-job-satisfactorially-if-not-spectacularly?

Beltran chipped in a ribbie, but when the entire Baltimore line-up is eating pieces of shit sinker balls for breakfast, the luke-warm stabs at run-manufacturing are kind of wasted and all.

You know, eating pieces of shit sinker balls for breakfast probably wouldn't do your stomach any favors.

Oh yeah, and speaking of luke-warm and favors (pause?), Soriano hit a home run. Fantastic. Now he's never going to f'n try to get base hits, like, ever.

And speaking of things that don't happen in ever, Super Mario played 1B today. Normal. Nope. God, please don't let Girardi start tapdancing into the Maddon Scientology School of Management. Please, no.

Anyway, Wednesday's game brings our expensive toy gun to the mound for his first Bronx debut. Not sure how forgiving the stadium's going to be if he gets TANAKA-ED AROUND. Yep, said it. Can't unsay it.

WIN.

Oh, Tanaka. Welcome to American baseball.

Oh, Lauren Pollina, WELCOME TO YOUR BIRTHDAY!!!

Me and Ldawgzo at Old Timer's Day 2005

Unlike my sister who ALWAYS surpasses the hype, the Japanese kind of just answered the hype in an appropriate if not spectacular manner?

Yeah, there was a LOT of hype around this guy, as there generally for any pitcher whose starting salary could bankroll implementation of a small off-shore civilization.

Also, he's Japanese, so his talent is worth more because it's never been actually demonstrated in American Major League Baseball.

Also, the mysterious does-he-doesn't-he around the speaking/language barrier is an asset that is worth its weight in gold.

I'm sorry, I'm giving the kid a hard time for no reason. Except the reason that was he let up a homerun to Melky Cabrera within 3 pitches of his very first outing. Somewhere, Stephen Strausberg is exhaling a sigh of relief, as he tightens his grib a little more possessively on his "I beat the hype" trophy.

It was a veritable smorgasboard of Japanese tv shots, from the panning around the dugout to the Asian players, to the terrifyingly austere shots of the Japanese film crews and photographers. We get it. Japan loves their baseball players.

I love when the Yankees win. Which is what they did tonight in a very, very odd manner.

Game notes:

The Yankees overturned a call by virtue of some extremely complicated relay system between Tony Pena and Joe Girardi that I don't even remotely understand. Sneach beats out the throw to first, as Sneach is want to do, and he's called out. Girardi challenges it. And so opened a whole ginormous can of worms that I wish I never saw.

"Call Overturned" is something I should never see flashed across my tv screen in relation to a baseball game, and I say this after said overturned call realllly worked to the Yanks' favor, allowing Robinson Sheffield to hit a go-ahead double in the 3rd.

The game lasted 3:26 minutes but for some reason it felt much longer...maybe it was the creative medley of game delayers, like the fan who ran across the field, the challenges, then reviews, and of course the strange exit of Teixeira (Teixit). Ok, apparently he got hurt, but since it was right after his, like, 3rd error in as many games, I legitimately thought Girardi came out to serve Tex with an arrest warrant or something.

And Tex DID look pretty much storming off the field. No news yet on whether Tex is just being "first 3 months of the season carte blanche" Tex. Or whether we got to start getting more comfortable with Kelly Johnson at 1st.

I know that in the past few years, the Yankee line-up isn't always what we remembered it to be in the classic Yankee sense. But there was something particularly Central Park softball league-y about today's murderer's row.

Like they were the lineup you assemble when it's 4:45 and half of your team emails to say they can't come to the game, and you're scrambling to pick up enough players before 6 so you don't have to forfeit a game to a team call "McCormack's Half Pints" or something.

Especially, Jeter's esteemed back from SD: "Dear Anna."

No, I didn't mean Dean. Dear Anna. That's his name.

Seriously, when I saw the infield positions at the beginning of the game, I was basically positive that they couldn't field a team, so they called someone's girlfriend to come in and play and that's how someone named "Anna" ended up at SS.

His defense? Ehhhhhh.

He got a hit though, as did every Replacement Yankee today, except B-Rob. I continue to be impressed by this team's speed, though. Like Jacoby had 2, GGBG had 1, and B-Rob threw on another. And I'm pretty sure Kelly Johnson randomly posted a triple today. Just for fun.

Robinson Sheffield had another ridic day, going 2 for 5 with 2 doubles, and 3 ribbies, and a lot of smiling, and stellar fielding. He looks and plays like a kid who will play as absolutely hard as he can because he knows how lucky he is to be here.

And that's straight up Mom-genes talking, as I can now cite April 5, 2014 as the day I first started doing my Mom's thing of inventing stories about complete strangers and passing them off as hush-hush fact.

In terms of the pitching, Tanaka gets up through 7 innings, with 8Ks, and only 3 runs (2 earned), and I gotta say, I was not as impressed as I guess I was prepared to be, but I've already forgotten about my lack in impression since the Yankees won. The relievers bridged to the way nicely to the W, with Thorton, Betances, and D-Rob synthesizing their forces to yield a hit-less final 2 innings.

You know what's weird? I don't think I've ever said this before, but if I had to pick a weakness on the Yankees right now, a weak skill set (or lack their of, etc)...it wouldn't be the batting, the manufacturing runs, the slugging, the RISP BAs....not the pitching, relief, or otherwise...no, the biggest weakness I see right now is the the infield defense.

Maybe I'm just spoiled from the whole Jeter-Robbie-Tex-Arod-iron curtain thing. But the Yankees just don't commit errors (fielding ones anyway), and they looked a little less that crisp out there. Like, I was finding myself excited to see successfully turned routing double plays.

Which reminds me, congrats to the Mets for their 1st win!

Tomorrow Pineda goes up against Dickey. This should be interesting.. (Yeah, let's go ahead and add Toronto to the list of teams/fan who are officially never allowed to make the inane "Yankees buy their team" hiss.)

CHEERS!

FIRST WIN.

THUHHHHH YANKEES WIN!

Well, that was fun!

I laughed a lot during the game, especially during the last 3 innings, because the announcers were acting like it was a 17-3 game in the 2nd inning. Or the way announcers act when it's the 18th inning and they forget where they are and start slipping into micronaps.

Yeah, but this game in the 7th inning-ish, and the silliness really started with a comment that made me giddy... a fairly non sequitor reference to Arod's walk-off error against the Mets.

And then from there, they began talking about all the dance moves Brian Roberts was doing on first base. (For the record, I counted a total of zero dance moves, but, you know, semantics.) This segued into an all out giggle-fest that touched upon such topical issues as Emmit Smith on Dancing With the Stars, and the like.

Also, it was a 4-2 game. Pretty exciting, really. I mean, I know this is about the time when Sterling starts talking about shit like running into Bernie Williams at the supermarket and how Bernie's a great GREAT guy who, you know, Suzyn, LOVES. PICKLES. And here's the count. Ball four.

Nah, this wasn't an exciting game or anything.

But, speaking of counts, apparently they're pretty tough. I mean, you will hear NO ARGUMENT FROM ME about how math is mega challenging. HOWEVAH, I'd like to think that in a situation where my livelihood is primarily based on keeping on top of a pitch count, I'd be able to keep track of it without convening a mid-inning summit of minds, and a gratuitous deployment of the PITCH COUNT REVIEW ALLOWANCE.

Seriously! I mean, even if I blacked out as the announcers clearly had, I would have just made something up. I would NEVER want to admit to my fellow ump coworkers, the thousands of attending fans, and the millions of tv viewers that when it comes down to it, all the technology in the world can't replace the old fashioned beauty of an abacus.

Somewhere, typewriter and snail mail advocates are jumping up and high fiving in triumph.

The Yankees, by the by, are also doing that. Because they won!

Because Yangervis Solarte is a stud that I obviously immediately picked up off waivers because I'm an impulse shopper and because I only have one Yankee on my team so far. Forget all the stuff I said yesterday about him being a weirdo for wearing a gold chain.

Apparently that Robinson Sheffied swing of his is more than a little potent, as the neophyte went 3 for 3 with 2 runs and a ribbie. And a SICK catch at 3rd that prompted my favorite expression: "Can't hit em harder than that!"

Sure you could. Sure you could, Kay. You could hit it so hard that it took someone's head off. Or at the very least, socks. But I'll give you that it was an f'n smoked rope to 3B. It spun around Solarte like a top but it was a great catch. And he smiled, dimply. He should call his parents after this game, because they're gonna wanna know ALL the DETAILS.

"Did you get the ball?? For God's sake, Yangy, please tell me you got the ball. Did everyone want your autograph afterwards? I bet that Derek Jeter guy did. You know, I'm not just saying this because I'm your mother, but I saw him looking at you and saying 'Why can't I hit like that guy?' I'm telling you!"

GGBG and Sneach looked great. Espleshly Sneach, and no one really ever answered my question about why in God's name he wasn't playing games 1 and 2?? He's such a little sneach around the bases! Remember when he scored from 2nd on a dropped pop up to the pitcher/catcher/3B?

Yeah, me neither, because it happened so fast that normal measurements of time can't accurately capture it. Sneah doesn't believe in the whole time continuum thing. Badass.

Unlike games 1 and 2, there was an inside out effect of the lineup, in that we got nada from our heart of the order, and key hitting from the bookends. Adorable.

The other Yankee Roberts made his "I know, I know, I'm not Mo, but please can we put a cap on the number of mentions of this to around 10 a week?" debut. He did well. He's NOT MO, THOUGH. He's not.

Also, I don't mean to be a dick, but I goggled it a lot, and what's wrong with Brett "Astros Pitcher of the Year" Oberholtzer's face, skin-wise? You'd think the reigning 2013 APotY Champ could be afforded some photoshop luxuries with that title, no?

Yankees stranded fewer runners (6) and were 3 for 7 with RISP and they won the game and it was AMAZING. They came from behind (pause) and gutted it out and wore down the opposing pitchers for 158 pitches.

Nova was Nova-y, which means stellar but not super dazzling, if that makes any sense at all. He is usually impressive, but never zingingly (sp? word, even?) spectacular, which I think is because his outs are groundouts and he looks intense most of the time.

Usually that kind of out-producer has a Chien-Mien Wang-esque aplomb, while Nova intensity is more akin to Kyle Farnsworth strikeout lunatics. I'll tell you Suzyn, Baseball's a funny game.

I, for one anyways, thought it was fun. HERE WE GO!!!!!

LOSS.

You know who I miss? Gary Sheffield.

I say that for no real reason beyond the fact I've determined that there is a player on the Yankees whose swing looks like the love child of Cano and Sheffield. Also, what AJ Burnett did for our rotation, Sheffield did for our lineup.

A complete lunatic who played like he was a stock character in a Kevin Costner-esque baseball movie.

Like how Brian Roberts looks, as my coworker pointed out, "like the guy who bats in a baseball movie but doesn't play a significant role."

B-Rob and "Sam Tuttle" from "For Love of the Game"

That said, Roberts was almost perfect today, 3-for-4, but this wasn't a significant role, since the rest of the team demonstrated an unwavering aversion to driving in runs.

Well, allergy season and all, who can blame them for having excrutiating flareups. Pollen, grass, ragweed, homeplate... they're all in the same rhinitis silo, yeah?

The Yanks lose again, and this one wasn't as shake-off-able as yesterday's, mostly because it wasn't a pitching problem.

Well, Kuroda's "scouting report" was predictably nonsensical, as it purported "Houston has a problem." This was soon followed by a bomb 2 pitches into the game. Houston's only problem tonight was filling the stands.

So, last night Fatty had 2 bad innings and the rest of the game was aight. Game 2 was a torturous reel of one batter after another dropping hydrochloric acid on scoring opportunities. It's easy to lambast one pitcher, one outing. It's harder to lambast a batting order.

Oh, btw, it's game 2 of the season. This is all totally warranted criticism. Nope.

But, giddy up, here I go anyway.

See, if Jacoby wasn't of Red Blood, I wouldn't give his stepping up to the plate and coming up empty-ness a second thought. But there's a bigger burden of proof involved here (Cheers, Law and Order reference).

I can't even think of a quasi-obnoxous nickname for him, because his parents already threw a gratuitous Y at the end of a perfectly good name, so how much more can I really do to add value?

Speaking of names: Yangervis Solarte. He comes up to bat, and seriously at first I didn't realize that the PH designation at the end of his name, was a designation. I thought it was just another couple of letters involved in his name that no one was sure with which to do.

Turns out he was the pinch hitter, and the pinch hitter, at that, who reminded me of Robinson Sheffield.

He didn't play like one, though.He played like a collection of scrabble tiles, who wore an intimidating gold chain around his neck when everyone knows that if you want to be somebody, if you want to go somewhere, you better wake up and pay attention to the Phiten necklaces that allow you to throw baseballs through brick walls.

Oh Yangervis Solarte(ph)! You have much to learn.

Other game notes:

Tex made an error, and I'm gonna go ahead and say he did it on purpose to make Beltran feel better about his error from yesterday. Cuz that's what Tex does. Makes players more comfortable. (Pause.) For the record, I was referring to when he joined the team and Alex Rodriguez was happy to have an old pal there.

As I said yesterday, so begins the season of delays- of-game every time Jeter is up at bat. Today was weird. Didn't they play the Astros yesterday? Why was today a de facto Jeter Appreciation Day?

I mean, an offering of Jeter Cowboy Boots is obviously nothing to sneeze at. But if we're sneezing at unnecessary commemorative rituals, then I'd sneeze.

Jeter presents.

For Christ's sake, the bullpen even had to get up for his at-bat. When are they going to sleep??

Things Minute Maid Park did NOT get up for (mercifully): 2 outs and 2 strikes. You know how I feel about this. Ron Guidry. Yankees.

THIS IS WHERE THE 2-OUT 2-STRIKE STAND UP CLAPPING THING ORIGINATED.

Every other team who tries to embrace it belongs alongside the inventer of call-waitng, lime-flavored Tostitos, and capri pants. Yesterday the Houston fans were alllll about this "ritual." Today, not so much.

That said, they were all about the Wave. If I'm a Mets fan, I'm pissed. Not because of the Wave in Houston. Just because I'm a Mets fan.

I just learned that Pettite was the 1st and only MLB-er to have ZERO losing seasons. Don't judge me for just learning this since probably most everyone knows this, but wow. Kudos.

どこで、Sneachですか？

Also along the lines of Japanese stuff, when Kuroda pitched, the ads behind homeplate changed from StubHub to something in Japanese. Topical.

Numbers-wise: Cosart is apparently a stud, and Kevin Long was excessively happy when he left the game, and then the Yankee bats just took a page from Beltran's book and stood with the lumber glued to their shoulders for the first pitch.Which I respect.

Except the respect wanes when the subsequent pitches seen result in no base runners. A-So is waiting for his first hit, and I feel like I'm the Coach in Major League 2 who's yelling at Willy Mays Hays to "PUT THE BALL ON THE GROUND."

The entire Yankees line-up officially can double as the opposite side of the school gym during my 8th grade dance. What they lack in puberty, they make up for in runners LOB (8).

So, the Astros take the series, and just to remind everyone, they're not the NL. Still confusing.

My boy Nova starts tomorrow, which means our $23948234 bajillion starter is our 4th-man, which is exactly why everyone hates the Yankees (among other reasons, I suppose..) They take the best player from wherever they feel like it...and then bat him 8th. Or pitch him 4th. Unapologetically. Yet rationally. I love them.

Tomorrow's a new day. But my prediction remains the same as it did yesterday: I got a good feeling about this team.

LOSS.

WELCOME BACK INTO MY LIFE, YANKEES! Okay, so you lost, but if there is a fan among you who didn't get off on that familiar thrill of the makings of a comeback, then...well, I'll see YOU in hell.

So, the Yankees lose this one because Tubbo.com pitched 2 innings of questionable ball. I say "questionable" as a courtesy to Round Boy, but I'm fairly certain that there weren't a whole lot of questions circulating amongs viewers, beyond "Why is he still wearing the same size uniform even though he's 4 sizes smaller?"

I was the Incredible Shrinking Man for Halloween.

Yes, but in fairness, our boy DID give us a heads up seeing as almost every sound bite he's tossed out to the media in the last 7 months has been wildly self-deprecating. It's like he lost all this weight and now he;s turning into some MLB version of Lucas. No dramatic slow claps in this game though.

Fatso went 6 innings, threw 99 pitches, whiffed 6, got taken yard twice, and was rocked for 6 runs in the first two innings. That's, like, Justin Chamberlain shit, yo. What the eff. You know what, though? Lard started Opening Day in 2009, the Yanks lost 10-2, and we all know how that season ended.

It wasn't a worrisome start, it was an anticlimatic one. Which makes sense, because I guess Game 1 of the season shouldn't be climatic at all, otherwise I'd be in Silly World, Where Everything I Know Is Wrong.

Other game notes:

I'm pretty sure at one point Beltran made it to first and tried to be all "Hey, what's up man" to Guzman, like the guy who's got people visiting him at his hometown, and he tries to act like he's Johnny Popular to look cool. Except Guzman was just having none of it.

Oh, Beltran. It's cool, though, because Beltran dove headfirst into first base later on in the game, and that really showed Guzman and the world that Beltran means business. Kudos on the hard 90, boy. I respect it. Didn't as much respect the E he so gracelessly tacked on. Old Mets habits die hard I guess. Next thing you know Beltran will be doing Kiss Cam and Waves and the like. Whatever, Astro season or no, he'll always be a Met in my eyes.

Jeter got hit by a pitch, and so begins a season of hearing the announcers wax philosophical, nostalgic, etc al, every time this future HOF-er steps up to the plate. (Do you see how I used that phrase "step up to the plate"? Jeter took a batting stance. He stepped up to the plate.)

Speaking of, no one "stepped up to the plate" in the way that infuriates me, ie in the "LOOK HOW MUCH HE CAME THROUGH IN THE CLUTCH!" So, basically no one stepped up to the plate and drove runs in when I needed them to. 2 for 8 with RISP, leaving 8 men on.

Hey, you know who looked good? Teixeira. 2 for 3. Other hits came smack from the middle of the lineup, so I guess that means something can be said for the rationale behind the batting order? Yeah? Jeter, Beltran, and McCann.

Our relievers looked good! And if memory serves, that is a requisite topic of season-long contention. So, I'm just putting this out there now, because in 2 months, we'll be wading through palpable vitriol about how WE NEED PITCHING! after the first spat of horribly blown games. AHHH, WHERE'S MO??!

PS, I thought Nuno might have used the off season to realize a tilda may be an appropriate addition to his name. I'm pretty sure I've voiced my aversion to this already:

While we're getting into improvement-needed areas, your lack of tilde over the second N in Nuno is distracting. It looks naked.

Wikipedia evidently shares this sentiment, and you know how for a little while they were putting banner ads the size of Spain everywhere, begging for donations?

Well, if there was ever a reason for me to humor Wikipedia and all it's uncitable glory, it's because they stood their ground when it came to the tilde.

They're running with it, because Wikipedia doesn't take ño shit from anyone.

Well, Nuno. I've said my piece. Also, good pitching out there today.

As for the lady with the pink hair who sat behind home plate?

This . Also, I think you left the game early. Thus, this .

Oh, also, did George Bush gain weight? Or was that Barbara's purse on his lap or something? I couldn't tell.

BASEBALL'S BACK! See you tomorrow, Astros! I HOPE I hope I hope I hope I hope, Sneach is in the lineup. I feel like the Yankees would be a little more recognizable that way? Maybe. GGBG was the only Yankee in the lineup that was in the lineup in 2013's Opening Day. I don't know how this is significant, if at all.

As always, I got a real good feeling about this team.

Win. Win.

Before I get into the recap of the suhh-weep of the twin bill, two items:

First item
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO READER, DIE-HEAD NYY/NYR FAN, AND JUST ALL AROUND DYNAMITE GUY, TIMMY REILLY! He is also consistently always one of the first people to wish me a happy birthday, and I know guys don't really care about birthdays, but wishing a chick a happy birthday is basically the equivalent of saving her from a teradactyl, probably. Have a good one, Timmy! Also:

Today in Yankee history (h/t takehimdowntown): Lou Gehrig and Babe Ruth went yard in the same inning 19 times during their Yankee careers, and 72 times in the same game. In an 11-7 Yankee win over George Blaeholder and the Browns on August 21, 1931, The Babe hit his 600th career home run, and Lou followed him, going back-to-back.

Second item
You know how stifling my work schedule usually is, so when I get out early enough to watch the non-Encore showing of the game (aka the LIVE one), it's like when Charlie found that silver coin in the sewer that let him splurge on some Willy Wonka chocolate. Sure, there are more productive things I could use with the unexpected free time (like sleep), but no, I want the Wonka chocolate live Yankee game.

On Monday, there was no game. And then it was like when Charlie opened up the chocolate bar but saw no golden ticket.

Whatever, anyways, my point is that I figured I could either use that free time to do laundry or read as much baseballprospectus.com as I could until I fell asleep.

I start reading the Monday Ten Pack, and you know I don't generally get into the farm players too much, but right before I almost ADHD-ed myself into a new article, I see that amidst the rest of the propsects listed in the piece, there's someone called Rookie Davis.

That's his name! I mean, at first I though, "How come this guy gets this Berenstien Bear nomenclature? Pape Bear, Brother Bear, etc." Rookie Davis. Actually, it looks like my cell phone's nomenclature in the contact list, "Southern Sean," Softball Megan," "Ranger fan Mike" "Lauren from Dorrian's."

So I keep reading and--woot woot!--he's a Yankee prospect, in Staten Island. I'm beyond excited about the implications of the game recaps when he gets called up. I'm picturing the Associated Press geting all frustrated with Microsoft Word, whenever they're wiring over their copy: "Dammit, Word. Stop autocorrecting 'Rookie Rookie Davis'!"

Ok, that's not the only reason I'm excited. He's got a 94mph fastball, is averaging a strikeout per inning, and working off speed stuff, curve, breaking ball.. When can he start? I like this guy. A nice, 94mph hurling RHP with ox strength, at 6'4'' and 235 lbs.



Cheers, Rookie Rookie Davis. Looking forward to seeing you whenever you're called to bring your heat to 161st Street!

AND THIRD/FOURTH ITEMS:
Two come from behnd wins! In one day! And we weren't even playing the Twins. Quid haec amentia est???

I'm not sure what possessed me to just throw in the Latin before I even got to the post-script, but I'm gonna go ahead and say it's symbolic of the fact that if the Yankees can subvert what they've been doing all season, I'll kindly follow suit.

Both wins were spectacular. If I had to choose a favorite between the two (and I have no idea what the situation would ever be where I'd HAVE to choose one, but you know how I am about the concept of liking multiple things "equally"--it's impossible unless we're talking about siblings or parents. Just trying to do my part to abolish this practice)--well, I'd probably choose the 2nd game because it was a walk-off and that's exciting, but also because it was a "gritty" win.

I'm using "gritty" to mean a hardfought win, and I'm not sure that adjective is appropriate, but I'm running with it since gritty is one of those adjectives that I feel like we use whenever we can't define what intense emotion we're experiencing. It already means a bunch of non-related things already, anyway, what's one more?

(Will never come close to this word, though.)

Anyways, before there was the gritty 2-3 win, there was the daygame delight that began as the daygame disaster (that's a turn of a phrase only a mother would get a kick out of, I think), when the Yanks fell behind 4-0 almost immediately.

And this sucked particularly after all the hype around getting Super Nova on the mound, who's been playing like he's scared the Repo Man is going to come knocking on his door demanding he relinquish the "Super" part of his moniker for liquidation purposes.

5 hits and no more runs for rest of inning, but like my buddy Russo once told me: "Until you put up 1 run, it doesn't matter how many they score against you. You can't win a game with a 0."

Cano considers this theory right before he takes his at bat in the 3rd, decides it makes sense, and puts 3 runs on the board to cut the Jays' lead to 1. Oh, and it was his 200th ding btw. NBD. Cano never strikes me as the type to pay attention to that kind of thing.

I know, I know. All ball players do. But I remember when he was a cocky rookie who acted like he was sort of doing everyone a favor by being there...

Then it was like he went to one of those boot camps that Jerry Springer sends out of control teens, who come back to the show a year later wearing argyle cardigans and apologizing profusely for their past sins.

Cano became Johnny Discipline. He's focused and quietly austere when it comes to performing. And when it comes to dugout rapport, well, has anyone ever seen a dugout shot of Cano when he's NOT laughing? Really happy he was able to move on post-Melky breakup.

Ok so yeah, after it's a 4-3 game, NOW it matters how many the opposing offense scores. But to that end, they didn't do any more of it. The Yanks, on the other hand, did.

So you got the Gamecast on at your desk at work, and you're annotating and writing manuscripts and whatnot, taking mini-breaks to watch more closely whenever the Yanks are in the MLB answer to the Red Zone.

And, you know, you just don't really know if you computer froze or you're missing something or if whatever intern in charge of streaming the stats that power GameCast just messed up a little...because when you see a blue circle and an "(in play)" notation next to Chris Stewart that soon becomes a "Run(s) scored"...well, you sit up a little and cock your head and wait for the inevitable yelp from another corner of the office from someone else who is also watching the Gamecast.

But that's me, anyway.

Stewart hits a 3-run shot. Of course. The guy who made a point of going on record during pre-season basically saying, "Ok, I'm good on defense. But, like, just don't expect much offense-wise. Because, um, that's probably not gonna happen."

After that, the game was cream cheese. (I'm sure it was a little harder than that--pause--but the emotionless Gamecast made it look easy, anyway.)

I guess Girardi didn't think so, though, since he brought Joba in for basically the amount of time it takes Vanna White to flip a letter (or "touch" the letter anyway. Because one day someone bet her that there's no way her job could get any easier, and she took that bet and convinced them to change the letter-revealing technology. Probably that's what happened, anyway.)

Joba walked one batter and Joe was like, "Ok, great, thanks for coming out! Don't call us, we'll call you. Mo! You're up."

Ha, non-save situation. Bet Mo loves being woken up from his catnap to bail out Joba.

Yanks end up winning 8-4, and then we all waited for the night game, where I think I can safely say that fatigue from an earlier game compounded with a Hughes start didn't really evoke wild confidence from the fans. Maybe Jays fans, actually.

But Hughes pitched his little heart out, while managing not to let the little baseball out.(Of the park). Seriously. Not a one. They better replace his jumbotron stat with that one. Because last I saw, it was something like, "Phil Hughes has only allowed 4 stolen bases all year." Maybe they can change that to, "Phil Hughes did not drive 55,000 attending fans into apopletic rage in his last 1 start."

P-Hu became P-WHO?? (Really logging in a lot of mom-esque humor in this post...)

Cano began the scoring, just like in the day game, which was nice since the Yanks were in that "0-runs-vs-existing-run(s)" predicament. Then Cano drove in Romine to negate Rajai Davis' first inning score on a wild P-Hu pitch.

1-1 game, exciting! (Kinda funny since the YES booth tonality was an interesting backdrop to the tension of the game. Man, I love Cone. And Kay. And I LOVE when Kay does his little insight-seeking-probes to former players, like, "Ooh, and that's ball 4. CC walks him to load the bases. David, you were a pitcher. Tell me, when you were pitching, did walking the bases loaded make you happy or sad?")

In this game, while P-WHO?? is gutting out (FINALLY) a stellar start, in a tight-played game, Kay is opining how pitching is like Van Gogh or something like that. And Cone is disagreeing very adamantly.

And then they swerve into a discussion about Paul O'Neil (I think his waist size came into play at one point). All the while, the Yanks are struggling against MARK BEUHELRWHATEVER [sic], of all people, who the Yanks typically view as a cartoon slab of steak, mouths watering.

Davis sac flies the Jays into a 2-1 lead, and then, totally predictably (nope), Jayson Nix takes him deep. and 2-2 game! I think I almost saw him smile but I think it was just a bug on my tv screen.

Mo gets pulled in again, and every time he takes the field, it's like you can't even really concentrate on the game going on, because all you're thinking about is the fact that we're not gonna see him play in another couple months.

So when he does that thing he does where he shoots out like a handful of 91mph cutters to blank the opposition, it's kind of bittersweet because WHERE ARE WE GONNA FIND THAT MAGIC AGAIN? No where. Narnia, MAYBE.

(That said, bullpen as a whole, all day, was stunning. Claiborne, Kelley, D-Rob, Blogan...not one run from the lot of them.)

But as exciting as all this low-scoring game stuff was, I was in no mood for an extra innings game. Sometimes my mindset will be like "ok yes I want a win, but if it's gotta go into extras, so be it. I like stress etc."

But these games aren't like May games, where you can afford the luxury of personal excitement. These games are economic Ws. Aint nobody got time for extras!

Nix obviously felt the same way, and decided to drive in Sneach to win the game. Sneach, oh yeah, somehow ended up on 3rd. I swear he is not human.

Where did he come from?? One minute Mark Reynolds is squeezing out a walk, the next second Sneach is just hanging out on 3rd base. He's like Ganon in the Zelda video game, who was impossible to beat because he was mostly invisible.

Even after Sneach crossed home, and the walkoff celebrations began, it sort of looked like Sneach was running off into oblivion. Probably tomorrow we'll see that he managed to not only get his 4,000th hit but also has managed to reach 9,120 sometime in the time before today's game.

A real big set of wins for the boys. Cano went 4 for 4. Nix was a hero (hope he went out and picked up a girl or something!) A-Rod struck out a lot, though. Man, what's that guy done lately? I mean, aside from completely rejuvenate an anemic lineup over the course of a week.

In other news, Girardi got fined because he got mad about Dempster throwing at A-Rod. MLB agreed A-Rod was thrown at. So they did the only fair thing which was fine Girardi $5,000, and suspend Ryan Dempster for 0 starts. Not sure if that's gonna deter anyone from going headhunting on every A-Rod at bat.

So Ryan I suppose could have appealed this and continued playing, if he wanted to. Which is a right he alone, and no one else, should be privy to. To the supreme shock of approximately no one, he decided not to exercise that appeal choice and insteadn opted to graciously accept his suspension paid vacation.

Eh, whatever. Do your worst, league. They're the Yankees. If you think a bunch of booing and journalistic crucifixion is going to subdue them, then you've never lived in New York. We're tougher than you think here.

Be careful.

Remember my trampoline theory, because for once it may be the Yankees on the other side of it:

I've always loved living on the top floor apartment because I don't have to hear anyone's footsteps above me. But then someone moved in to the unit directly below me 2 months ago, and I watched as the new tenant rolled a trampoline into 4A. When you're at the top, it never occurs to you to consider these possibilities. Until you hear the people below you banging their heads against your floor. You don't anticipate trouble from below you. You never know when the #1 spot is going to encounter the unexpected from the bottom.

Win.

I don't know where to begin with this one.



One thing I do know is that in years of watching baseball, The 2nd Inning Incident is the most sickening, disgusting rejection of sportsmanship and integrity that I've ever seen.

I get that drilling players is "part of the game" (allegedly), but that's not a acceptance I've ever really been on board with. But I get it, nonetheless. The thing is, is that it's not like hockey where it actually IS part of the game (allegedly). In baseball, it's more of a thing that's limited to onfield retaliation.

You pull a Manny and take your sweet ass time at the plate after you take the opposing pitcher deep? Then you're plunk susceptible. You try to break up a double play by sliding with your spikes up into the SS? Susceptible.

But as I understand the stupid "rule," it doesn't generally give pitchers carte blanche to wage war on people because of personal vendettas.

(But, of course, if Dempster wants to play the "Eye for an eye" game, then the Yankees are more the eager, willing, and able to be dealt into the hand.)

I'm not saying anything that everyone doesn't already know. Sigh. That Dempster 4 pitches to A-Rod were evil, classless, dangerous, uncalled for, gutless, and pathetic.

I mean, it's a great message to send, really. Like to all those impressionable kids everyone's so worried that A-Rod's lies have irreparably destroyed? I'm glad they got to see such a lovely example of rosy sportsmanship. I swear, it's like some primitive social ecosystem that avenges moral sins with violent punishments.


Should've put a "Draft/Unedited" watermark on it, if you weren't going to take the time to route it through editorial.

Fenway, of course, disagrees. They were super excited about it. Sometimes it like they have pseudobulbar affect, that symptom of ALS when you burst out crying or laughing at inappropriate times.

I mean, they were cheering when A-Rod's fielder's choice drove in a run. They were happy when they put him on base with the HBP.

And John Farrell? Apparently believes that Dempster was just aligning with a well-thought out strategic direction that involved "establishing inside fastballs."

Dempster walked 1 batter all game. I'm not sure if that really helps an argument for control. That's the thing about Boston.

A lot of times they act like those Occupy Wall Street protesters who are realllllly fired up about shit, but when asked to clarify the source of their anger, or--even better--confronted with logic that repels them back into their vat of hypocrisy..., then the OWS-ers don't know how to be anything but passionately principled.

For example, our pal in the stands with the A-Looser sign. I'm so curious about a lot of things going on here, starting with how this guy managed to set down his blue and red markers, survey his work, and then think, "PERFECT! Yeahhhh this'll show him!"

The other thing I'm very curious about is what the hell does "T.O," stand for here? Congrats, bro. You just earned a place alongside this guy.

Dempster was a dick, but the homeplate ump was even worse. Why would he think it'd be a fair game, with our best pitcher now nibbling at the plate, because 1 mistake from his end tosses him from the game. The bullet's out of his chamber, and he did nothing wrong to deserve that.

Girardi argued like I've never seen him argue before. Like, to the point where he might get thrown into the People We Need Urine Samples From For Steroid Investigation Stuff.

He was incensed big time. It was awesome to see that kind of non-manufactured ire, it's rare, really. Most of the time the whole fit-pitching thing is of the trying-to-light-a-fire-under-team's-ass persuasion.

This was more like a trying-to-set-fire-to-Fenway type of anger. Good for him for getting A-Rod's back. It was probably more related to the fact it put his win chances at a significant disadvantage, though.

(I thought MLB was all branding itself the Crusaders Against Unfair Advantages. I guess there are grey areas. And by grey areas, I'm referring to the Yankees away jerseys.)

Dempster didn't get thrown out for reasons no one really has been able to articulate. HOWEVER, reasons HAVE been articulated about why Dempster did it. Wait for it.

A-Rod snubbed Dempster at a public event. Dempster was not impressed.
— Wayne Scanlan (@HockeyScanner) August 19, 2013

HAHAHAHHAHHAAHHA. Seriously. I can only imagine what "snubbed" means. Did Dempster want an autograph? Did A-Rod take the last slice of pecan pie at the dessert buffet? Snubbed him HOW?

Oh my God, say what you will about A-Rod, but he is like flypaper for every whiny insecure pitcher in the league.

(cough...Dallas Braden...cough)

A-Rod is basically the Regina George of MLB. Everyone hates her, but everyone wants his attention.

Anyways, so then the Yankees rally because they're pissssssed. They come back to tie the game. And then A-Rod drives in a run to put the Yanks in the lead.

(But since A-Rod was out at 1st, Fenway cheered. Because let's be honest, wouldn't you rather have A-Rod off first base, than Sneach off homeplate? C'mon. Everyone knows an A-Rod out trumps run prevention.)

Unfortunately, amidst all the wild and crazy drama, there was our flubby Tubbo dumping around on the mound, looking extremely confused and uncomfortable.

He's been pretty unremarkable all season, so I think the consensus among Yankee fans was that Fatso was probably trying very hard to bean a player, but couldn't find the control necessary to throw out of control.

Irony!

But, you know, even if he HAD managed to get a coveted HBP on the board, his velocity was so low that the only message he would be sending is "Don't you miss the simple joys of being able to jump into a McDonald's ball pit?"

I realllly wanted to find a stat on how many times HBPs there have been in history between the Yanks and Socks. It's been added to my rotation of Things to Google in Downtime. I'll keep you posted.

A-Rod was only one of 4 HBPs tonight, though. GGBG got drilled by Morales because he didn't share his Halloween candy with him 2 years ago, and De La Rosa nailed both Nix and Cano because they went to go see Elysium without inviting him.

The Socks took a 6-3 lead, and things didn't look good.

Until A-Rod led off in the 6th and took Dempster deep. He's closing in on 650 career homeruns, but I'd venture to say that the one he hit in this game was probably in his top 5 favorite of all time. Outside of the ones he hit in the 2009 playoffs, this definitely would be my choice.

(A-Rod's got the highest BA on the team, by the by. Also, I just read this on ESPN: "The Yankees hitting has been much better since Alex Rodriguez returned to the lineup. They're hitting .303 in 13 games with A-Rod after hitting .240 without him. They're scoring about a run and a half more per game and hitting a homer much more often.")

That was a clutch hit, because it closed the gap to 2, and fired up the team to go out and load the bases up for GGBG, who roped on into right for a bases-clearing triple.

AND HERE COME THE YANKEES!

7-6.

Once Round Boy got yanked from the game, the NY pen gave up only 2 additional hits, and 0 runs. And to top it off, they managed to get around the whole plunk-and-you're-done stipulation, by taking revenge on the only guy who was just as guilty as Dempster:

Home plate ump Brian O'Nora.

I don't know. It's not like Boone Logan is a knuckleballer or anything. So I'm delightfully intrigued by Chris Stewart's egregious non-catch that cleared a path straight into the ump's face.

There was something very creatively Sean Avery about it all.

It was a good game to win. And it was a good game for the Yankees because they all rallied around A-Rod. The enemy of my enemy is my friend, maybe? But maybe it was more of a realization that the guy has been getting it pretty badly. That's your teammate there.

It sort of reminded me of the end of "School Ties." After Brenden Fraser went from school hero to school outcast, he finds himself in the middle of a cheating scandal. He didn't do it, but everyone hates him for lying about being Jewish, and some REALLY hate him because he was so popular and good-looking and athletic.

He's got no one on his side, it seems. Until he goes to confess to cheating, and he finds that one of his classmates has already told the dean the truth, effectively exhonerating Brendan Fraser.

It was a good day for the Yankees. And a good day for Yankee fans. I was proud of A-Rod today, and I don't know how many Boston fans can say with any modicum of honesty that they were proud to be Red Socks fans today.