"It's great to be young and a Yankee."

I am flying pretty low to the ground today after a outstanding night at the Manny's. I love black tie affairs. I managed to keep my hat off for the entirety of the ceremony, but when it was over, I had my calling card right back atop my head.

Not only was I in formal gear all night (a CYC rarity), but I also sang karaoke. A lot. Which is almost a CYC impossibility. And when I realized that watching the dvr-ed game was not going to be in the cards, I checked the score of the game.

And saw with pleasure the drubbing.

(Ha, I just realized how bizarre that sentence just sounded.)

Yanks won 15-3 last night and the best about checking the scores on the blackberry was the bluntness and unbiased directness of seeing Ohman finish off the interminable 5th inning.

Ohman. If your name is going to be OH MAN, then you have to work damn hard to make sure you stay off the grid, and out of negative limelight. Like what this guy did.

So after what seems like a 230-game series with the Southsiders comprised of run tallies that you could easily tick off on one hand, the Yanks basically exploded in the 5th inning. Actually, I thought initially I was just bleary eyed from crazy lighting design of the banquet hall, because all of a sudden the game went from 2-0 to 8-0.

And how did this all happen? It began with a homerun from Gardner.

I'm sorry, but why is no one making a bigger deal out of this??? Brett Gardner has hit like .02 homeruns in his life, and in the past week he's hit about 49. I guess this exercise in weirdness (can I even call it weird anymore? It's the norm now?) sparked the Yanks into some kind of "Well, if GGBG is going yard, it'll basically just be embarrassing if we don't" mentality.

So there's your 5th inning. NINE Yanks batted before anyone even recorded an out. (Awkward for the 1st out batter. But since it was GGBG, who had hit a bomb 8 batters ago, it was ok. But it wasn't ok for Swish, who said he was getting teased on account of even the small fry knocking one out.)

Swisher broke his 75-AB homerun drought. I don't know why this stat bothers me, but it does for some reason.

It's like, when ARod is chasing a milestone, it's normal for him to salivate over the idea of taking the pitcher deep. He's our clean-up guy. It's expected.

When Jeter is in a slump, it's natural for him to long for just any kind of base hit. He's our lead off guy. It's expected.

But Swish getting his panties in an uproar over not going yard? Come on. I don't necessarily want bombs from him. I just want him to get on base. It would've made more sense if Swish was pissed about an 0-for-75 no base-on-balls slump.

I feel like Swish overswings when he's frustrated, so all the more reason for him to pay no mind to keeping the ball in the park. I like you, Swish. You're the fine the way you are, you don't need a homerun.

But, immaterial, since, well, he got one in the 7th inning! Hurray for you, boy!

Other game points:

2 days after Sterling confidently asserted that Konerko doesn't make any mistakes, there's this:

"It's been a bad couple of weeks. It's been bad up to this point as a whole this season, but that doesn't mean tomorrow has to be [the same way]. It's way too early to get discouraged or to say, 'OK, this is the team for the season.'"

Ouch. How'd your team feel about that one, a-hole?? That was a mistake.

Jeter got a planned day off, and his replacement got confused about things. In other words, Nunez had 2 errors. That sucks, I feel bad for him. A nice a fielding mistake to start the game--good work--and then just when we were all forgetting about that little snafu, he goes and throws to God knows who, sailing one to like the right field bleachers or something, and then this leads to 3 unearned runs.

That was sloppy. But the sloptasticity reached its pinnacle when Fatso balked. I love Tubbo so much that he literally cannot do any wrong by me. I even love his balks! He dropped the ball. I mean, he actually just dropped the ball.

You know why? Because his hands were greasy from MickeyD's. No, I don't know why. But that's what would make sense. Explains why he's CONSTANTLY wiping his palms down like a porker killing a bags of Lays. Yeah. I don't know.

It was such a weird game. Despite the 5th inning where time ceased to move, the game wrapped up in 3 hours. Errors, homeruns, low scoring game, high scoring one. This game had everything!

Except an Ozzie ejection. Sigh.

(Thanks to Strange for waking me up this morning with this facebook post: Guillen has been ejected 26 times, including three times at Yankee Stadium since 2007. ‘‘I get kicked out of the game a lot here in New York. I got to check that record. ‘‘I wonder why.’’ On the plus side, Guillen joked, he has a nice office at Yankee Stadium and the food is good.)

Great game Yanks! Terrific, even!

AND I'LL SEE YOU ON SATURDAY AT THE STADIUM FOR PART III OF THE KEITH, KRISTA, POLLINAS FESTIVAL OF BANANAS!

PART I
PART II

Well, it's just like the old saying goes, the fatter the pitcher...the better.*

*Like everything else in life, Justin notwithstanding.

Last night, the Allergy was spectacular because he only let up 1 run. Meaning, I don't care how many hits, Ks, or BBs he had, because I like the bottom line. 1 run.

I also like the penultimate line: when he got into jams, he got out of them. A real, "You made your bed, now lie in it." Like when boys turn into donkeys for being bad:



Yep, still terrifying 20 years later.

But, Allergy/Pinocchio got out of his problems, which I like.

Something else I like= Ozzie Guillen's egregious abandonment of normal emotions.

In the top of the 1st, in the TOP OF THE 1ST (bears repeating), he just lost it Ozzie style when Konerko was called out on a called 3rd strike that barely hovered around the knees. Yeah I suppose it was kind of a bad call, MAYBE. I mean, you got 2 strikes on you, swing at that. Ask Carlos Beltran about that, if it's even remotely close, you swing. This isn't groundbreaking theory.

HOWEVAH, even if he was called out on a pitch that landed in the broadcast booth, it still wouldn't merit the tantrum Ozzie threw.

Actually, few things WOULD merit the tantrum Ozzie threw. Maybe getting kicked in the face with golf shoes. And even that would have had to have happened in the 9th inning for me to really give a crap.

But Ozzie cares deeply about everything. I love him. My sister: "Imagine being stuck in a room with AJ Piernyzski and Ozzie. Forever."

I don't think I would mind that. Well, not forever, but I can think of a million worse people, 90% of which are on the Red Sux or were on the Red Sux at one point.

So the first inning comes and goes, Ozzie storms back to the clubhouse, where he may as well get his mail delivered since he spends more time there than he does on the field. And he proceeds to do what any ejected manager does after retreating away from the game with his tail between his legs:

He tweets aggressively.

I get THE BIGGEST kick out of aggressive status-updaters. Like how when 14-year-old girls get slighted by something, the first thing they do is bang away on their iPhones these thinly veiled spits of vitriol like, "I'm glad I found out NOW who my real friends are" or something like that.

Similarly, Ozzie channels that maturity with things like:

"This one going to cost me a lot money"

"This is patetic [sic]."

"Today a tough guy show up a yankee stadium"

Which isn't much of a departure from his typical rhetoric, awesomely. His tweet archives include, but are not limited to, pearls of insight like:

"3 day of Spring Training and im already boreddddddd"

"what I saw on the field today was a lot of grass..."

"Thanks a lot for the support i like it the twitter....."

See, this is one guy that I actually LIKE weighing in on everything. Shut it down, Schilling, you've been long replaced as the outspoken mouth of MLB.

So, yeah, the game. Cano homered with something that initially looked like it'd be a line drive into right center. The thing took off like an f'n bullet, ridiculous. He's gone yard in 4 of the past 5 games. As Ted Williams once said, "I'm good, and I'm only getting better. I can't stand it I'm so good."

That's how Cano plays and hits. He even toed the line of obnoxious pause-at-the-plate-after-dropping-the-bat behavior that WoManRam had taken to galactic levels during his tenure, BUT Cano only neared the border of obnoxious. His appreciative gaze of his bomb still fell somewhere in between badass and arrogant which, of course, is the perfect place to fall!

The Allergy, as I mentioned, also was badass, if not enormously anaphylactic-y. And according to Ozzie, we should all be impressed not only with his outing but with his attendance:

Before the game, Chicago manager Ozzie Guillen joked that he was surprised to learn Colon had showed up at the ballpark -- a reference to Colon's injury-plagued 2009 stint with the White Sox during which he was away from the team for long stretches and sometimes hard to find, Guillen said.

Pshh, bitch please. You're talking about a team that hosted the likes of Carl Pavano and Kei Igawa.

Buerhle--whose name I STILL can't master--delivered the David Cone special and continued to live up to his end of the bargain he clearly made with Beezelbub prior to July 23, 2009, giving up 6 hits and polishing his record to 1-8, with a 6.38 ERA against the Yanks.

(I liked the little side bar piece about the pitchers with the highest ERAs against the Yanks. Because Josh Beckett was like #2 or something. Ha. Put that in your goatee and smoke it.)

Mo got the save, staving off the requisite whining from critics about his damn age (which, for the record, seems to have been reduced by about 20 years, based on his appearance.) Seriously, was it me, or did Mo look like his rookie card last night?


I think his hat is just too big.

I left work last night at around 11:30, so I'm standing outside the Channel 11 News Building, trying to decide whether I should cab it because it's late and I'm cranky, or whether I should enjoy the first real night of balmy spring weather and walk to Grand Central. Amidst these musings, I see out of the corner of my eye the largest head in the world that could only belong to one person and one person only.

Oh, Michael Kay!

Why, in God's name, are you randomly standing outside the News Building as the hours creep up on midnight?

But can anyone ever really understand the inner trappings of a mind like Michael Kay's? No.

HOWEVAH, player of the day is coworker Joe K, for his outstanding "What You Should Have Done" comment.

When I see Joe this morning and I'm yawning, etc and we exchange the "late night at the office" commisseries (is that a word? Bowno.)... I tell him about the KaySighting, he's confused (justly so).

"What? What was he doing there?"

"I don't know, I didn't ask him. I didn't talk to him. I briefly considered asking him to give me a ride home though."

"You should have just walked right him while you were leaving and just said 'SEE YA!'"

Gold.

Well-played, Joe. And bad knowledge, CYC on not rolling out the prime line.



Moving on.

The Yanks lose again, in somewhat familiar fashion. Very much like the 2-0 not-no-hitter game on the night prior. Except this time they had more hits. And this time it wasn't a no-name they were handing the W over to, but rather, Gavid Floyd, who really pitched quite a gem.

He struck out 10 and only gave up 3 hits before Jeter singles in the 9th, and Ozzie brings in Matt Thornton, and man I hate missing the tv broadcast of ANY Yank game, but ESPECIALLY when they're playing the White Sox. Just because I love seeing--as Strange hilariously pointed out--the Ozzie Guillen call to the bullpen that looks like how an obese slob would signal over to his waiter that he wants the all-you-can-eat ribs to keep on comin'.

So after Grandy sacs Jeter over to 2nd, and Tex works a walk, we get treated to the 2nd helping of Ozzie's bullpen calling, as he brings in Santos for the final 2 outs.

According to Sterling, Arod's shot was just INCHES away from winning the game. This could be true, but there's just as good a chance that Arod weakly grounded to third. Same goes for Cano's roped liner that followed. Could have tied the game, or it could have just been a strike-out. You never really know when you rely on the Sterling broadcast.

However, both calls were corroborated this morning, and the brilliance of Lillibridge's game saving plays were also substantiated.

So, even though the Yanks didn't lose to a Phillip Humber again, they lost to someone of equal stature in the MLB community:



Then, just to really drive home the point that Lillibridge is a utility infielder who's gonna prove his worth off the bench if it's the last thing he does, dammit.. there's this one, too.

Good work, Lillibridge. I'm impressed. Must have had the lucky feather with you, after all.

Soriano screwed up this game for me and the Crisis Nerviosas, by giving up a game-winning bomb to Konerko, about whom Sterling made the following somewhat lofty claim:

"You know what the thing is about Konerko? He doesn't make mistakes."

Wow. Quite a billing.

Nova pulled an AJ and had a solid outing in a losing effort, but since there have been questions around his value floating around, he probably had the same relief AJ had, though bittersweet.

GGBG homered AGAIN (so did Cano), and this is just hysterical to me, since the Yanks have had 8 bombs in the last 4 games, and 2 of them have been off the bat of someone who weighs as much as a medicine ball.



Also, it should be noted that if we're gonna talk about people not making mistakes, let's bring up the fact the Yanks only saw 115 pitches, compared the 148 seen by the Southsiders. And by not making mistakes, I mean let's not make this mistake again. Is it me, or do the Yanks panic after a loss and do the whole Kobe Bryant, "F this noise, Ima win the game myself" thing where they all try to go yard?

I'm fine with that most of the time. Since most of the time, it works.

Just not last night.

Well, there's always tonight! Which we will win with Allergy on the mound!

Oh speaking of weirdnesses on the mound, can we go ahead and bring up this one, since Hughes seems to be going the way of the Rachel haircut?

My sister was just in my office, and we were both frantically rambling about bananas today has been at work. I've also been frantically rambling about how "I am very irritable today for some reason. Not when I interact with other people. I'm fine then. But when left to my own devices, I'm about to slam my computer against the wall if my bullets on powerpoint won't align."

And I realized why!

On Sunday, on my way to Church, I took off my Yankee bracelet because it irritates my mom to no end (with reason, I suppose, since it's beyond ratty), and now I'm attributing this to my chemical imbalance.

Whatever, I could just be cranky about the loss last night.

"Yeah, I was gonna try to watch the game with Strange last night after softball, but he had work to do. Probably better I didn't, I guess."

My sister responds: "Yeah, well AJ's happy though."

"Huh?"

"Yeah, in the postgame, when everyone else is like, 'you want a win, you don't get it, so you're disappointed,' he's like, 'WELL I WAS GREAT!""

Ha. Oh AJ.

So today, when dealing with the loss of my Yankee bracelet (if only temporarily), I'm going to channel go old psychopath AJ, and recall his words of optimism in the face of defeat.

“I’m making a step, I’m not going to rear back and try and throw as hard as I can anymore,” Burnett said. “I’m going to try and make a pitch — you know, will myself through it — and that’s what I do.”

That's what I do. Will myself through it. Weirdo.

So last night, someone named Phillip Humber, who has as many teams to his career as I have Yankee hats on my door, held the Yanks to 1 hit last night. Good for him. He's the kind of story my dad likes, sort of, since he turned down the Yanks originally in 2001 to go back to school.

The Chisox won for only the 2nd time in 12 games, which means the Yanks are kind of like becoming what the Pirates were a few years ago: a soup kitchen. I remember in 2008 or 09, Pittsburgh was basically just handing out their best players to whomever was interested. And now, the Yanks are basically doing the same thing with wins.

It's very charitable of them. Well, it would be, anyway, if they were doing it on purpose and not just inexplicably providing cellar-dwellers with Ws (cough...Red Sux...cough).

The Yanks were hitless until the 7th inning, so you can imagine how happy we all were watching this transpire. The thing is, it was only a 1-0 game at that point, so the fact we were hitless wasn't reallllly upsetting me too much, you know? If it was 8-0, then fine, that means the big story of the game is the no-hitter. A 1-0 game just means that it's a nice little pitching duel that could go either way.

Unfortunately it went the way of the bad guys.

ARod, of course, put the tick of relief on the board for us, which brought on a cascade of cheers that I'm sure made him smile, even though it was just for a hit.

All in all, it was a pretty quiet game, unless you're Ozzie Guillen and Phillip Humber.

"Phil's got great stuff and he can do it, "Pierzynski said. "He's just got to throw strikes and believe in himself."

Thanks, Crazy AJ #2. (How does one generally distinguish between Burnett and Pierasdkasd [sic]?) Catcher AJ and Pitcher AJ is just kind of meh.

Maybe MissingAJ?

(Yeah, I'm mildly obsessed with the Onion's own aggressive obsession with AJ.)

So, yeah, moving on. The Southsiders scored again in the 9th, Konerko drives in an "insurance run" (God, I hate that term), and the Yanks lose 2-0.

Grandy, Arod, and Chavez are the only hits for the Yanks (2/3 of those folks are on team Las Crisis Nerviosas, but as usual, I'd prefer a Yankee win over a LCN one.)

Humber only walked 2 and hit Swish with a pitch. Really nice work from him. Will there be a repeat performance in his future? He looked pretty good to me. I suppose that, yes, the Yanks historically are useless against a pitcher they've never seen before, but I don't know.

(I know I've said this before, but do the Yanks invest any of there BULTIBILLION dollar budget (see what I did there, payroll obsessors?) to a video analyst? Whatever happened to Charles Worskfkjwe whatever his last name is? Wonsowicz. That's it.)

So there's that. AJ gives up 3 hits, 2 BBs (?? wow), 1 run, and whiffs 2. Soriano is less than impressive, gives up another run, but does it matter? As my buddy Russo wisely admonishes whenever I start getting all alarmist, "Unless the Yankees score a run, we're not winning this one anyway."

True story.

I'll leave you all with this: my mom (who I've mentioned in my last post has been having some spamming issues) sends me an email in the middle of the night, which was the last straw, and I begged her this morning to get rid of her AOL account because I can't take the spamming anymore.

Then she tells me it's not spam, that she meant to email me this craigslist post to me:

Female Roommate Wanted - Your own bedroom in 2 1/2 Bedroom apartment
Date: 2011-04-25, 8:46PM

Furnished bedroom available in spacious 2 1/2 bedroom apartment. Doorman, high floor, city and sunset views, sunny, etc. Washer, dryer and dishwasher in the apartment. The apartment has good heat, is quiet for sleeping, has good air-conditioning, high speed internet and a spare computer for the roommate's use. It's an elevator building and there is a health club in the building. The room is about 200 sq. ft., has a double bed, dresser, desk, walk in closet and a window with a nice view. I'm looking for a female roommate who will occasionally not wear clothes when I ask in exchange for free rent. No sex whatsoever required. Otherwise the rent is $780/month, everything included.


Bleecker St. at Broadway (google map) (yahoo map)

A note of warning would have been appreciated. My heart stopped when I got to the bottom of the post and for a split second I thought my mom was offering this up to me as a suggestion, rather than a marvel at the degree of sleaze in some people in this city.

(Of course, I then received the expository follow-up email from my mom: "is this the most unbelievable thing in the world. There are such sickos out there!!!")

To sum up, the moral of the story is, um..?..

Baseball's a funny game, Suzyn.

So Mariano Rivera blows the save again but unlike the game against the Jays, this time the Yanks prevail in eggstra innings. Yep. Eggstra. Because it was Easter. If I wasn't Catholic, I'd probably make some comment about how they were dead but then rose again to win it. However, I'm Catholic, and hence will refrain from such rhetoric.

As me and my family are sitting together for Easter dinner ("leg of lamp" as I called it), we're keeping one eye on the tv the living room (sometimes 2 eyes even), and man it was getting exciting. First Mo blows the save..

Wait, no, let me back up even more.

We're watching the game at it's 2-0 within seconds. Actually, to be honest, it felt like it should have been 234-0 based on how much they were pounding the ball the whole game. But no, it stays 2-0 for a while. Something kind of Grandish homered early, then Arod brings in another run to make it 3-0. Then I decide it would be a good time to try to help fix my mom's computer, since at least 4 times a week her aol account sends me valuable spam links on how to buy Viagra.

This, of course, doesn't bother me so much, but it bothers 1.) her because her hijacked email is sending it to her old coworkers and it bothers 2.) my sister, who works on the Viagra account and always ends up opening these links thinking they're actually relevant and not, in fact, viruses.

So I try to hack into her mainframe etc aka play around on the Registry files (I have zero idea what I'm doing, to be sure) and it turns out, neither does Justin Chamberlain, all 394,921 pounds of him, because the next time I look up at the tv, it's 3-2 and we're bringing in Mo to stop the bleeding.

But instead, he contributes to the bleeding (after DRob doesn't help, but he has some latitude on account of how well he had been playing). The O's end up tying the game and (!!!!) almost winning it until Swish zips one into Cano who throws out the winning run at the plate. PHEWWWWW.

It ALMOST didn't look like a well-called call, and I almost felt bad, because as much as I want to win, I'm not crazy about being on the positive end of a blown call (especially as a Yankee fan since for some reason everyone thinks the Yanks have the edge in life because it's just HANDED to them on a silver platter. Not true. They have the edge because they're better than everyone else.)

Then basically this happens:



Sort of. Jeter gets called out at the plate in the top of the 10th, with a bullet throw from Jones that gets to Wieters and upon closer inspection, yeah Jeter was out. Both plays at the plate, (bottom 9th and top of 10th) were eggstremely odd because both Wieters and Martin just looked really confused. Like girls who catch in recreational softball. The ball rarely ends up going to them and when it does, they're just completely baffled by everything.

The Yanks cobble together relief pitchers (for no reason, really, since Sweaty Freddy had been pitching excellently!) It's a 3-0 game and Girardi does that overmanaging thing which I never really like to call him out on but I will here because, well, he did. Why bring in Justin for the sake of bringing in Justin for Chrissake??

Actually, it was Easter. Maybe it was, in fact, for Christ's sake. Doing the nice thing.

GGBG saved the game for Mo, even though Mo did blow the save, with a ridiculous catch that my dad said he made because "He heard Kris saying, 'Gardner doesn't need to be a good bat, he's good for one thing only and that's his speed.' You know, people on tv can hear you. He was just proving to Kris that he's good for other things."

Well, there you have it. I've been so misinformed. And trust me, if my Dad says it, it's true.

The Yanks win 6-3 after a 40 minute rain delay, which allowed all us NYers just enough time to see the other remaining NY team (Knickerbockers) get swept. The 11th inning resumes just as we're walking across the street to my Godmother's place for coffee and dessert. Here's how that played out (the game, not the coffee):

RMart reached on infield single to shortstop, Chavez to second, Robbie scored (ps he apparently hates being called Robbie, according to my sis). Jeter reached on infield single to third, Chavez scored (ps I still have no idea where this Chavez guy came from). Jeter to second on throwing error by Mark Reyonds. Something kind of Grandish reached on infield single to second, RMart scored.

There you have it. Great win, Yanks. And happy Easter!

Way to stay atop the league.

Hannibal Lector said that. I definitely used that once, years ago, when I was giving a presentation on copywriting. It was my first significant client presentation, a big conference room of people from Forest Pharmaceuticals, and I explained that consistency in branding is key because, as Hannibal Lector said, "we covet what we see every day."

In retrospect, I might have been better off using that line from my old standby, Oscar Wilde: “It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances.”

That said, I am pleased to announce the partnership with BuildASign.com, who has created a host of CYC-branded goods!

It started a week or so ago, when I received an email from Megan at BuildASign.com (and for what it's worth, she just could not have been nicer and more helpful!), saying that she would happy to provide any kind of branded material from her site.

BuildASign makes pretty much everything and anything you could ever want in terms of a Stuff You Can Put A Picture/Name/Logo On:


So not only did Megan send me a FANTASTICALLY GINORMOUS AND AWESOME banner, but it came within a week of her contacting me. Plus, I have to say, the quality of the banner was pretty top-notch. I actually thought it was going to be a poster-type of banner, but when it arrived, I was so excited to see it was a water-proof, thick, sturdy vinyl type of banner, with robust grommets in the corners.

In addition to the banner (which I can't decide whether I want to put above my couch, hanging in my window/facing outside, above my bed, or in my office), Megan also sent me a bunch of CYC bumper stickers.

I don't have a car (see recent post on why I tend to stay away from motor vehicles), but I know plenty of people who DO drive, which this will now be bestowed upon:

(That's my youngest sister's car.)

Anyways, if you would like one of these CYC bumper stickers (thank you again to Megan at BuildASign!!!), lemme know, and I'll send one along! And of course, I can offer nothing but my highest recommendations of that site, if you ever have any other kind of insignia need.

Welcome onboard, BaS! I can't tell you how much I appreciate the ridicu-cool CYC gear! :)

In Easter gear and all. Actually, it was the day before Easter. April 7, 2007. Just like this salami was.

It was his 22nd career slam, pushing him past WoManRam, and into second place on the career list behind only the Iron Horse (23).

I've said it before, I'll say it again. When all is said and done, Alex Rodriguez will be the best baseball player that ever lived.

And speaking of THE BEST, you know who's doing good in terms of homeruns? THE NEW YORK YANKEES.

They've already logged 35 long balls, by far the most in the league (the next highest is Texas with 27, so I guess "by far" may be a little bit of an exaggeration? Whatever.)

In yesterday's game alone, aside from Arod's blast, R-Mart homered twice, Posada homered once, and...wait for it...GGBG EVEN WENT YARD! Ridiculous.

Sabathia (1-1) allowed three runs and six hits in eight innings, striking out seven and walking one. The performance came one night after his scheduled start was postponed by a rainout.

"Maybe that extra day did help him," manager Joe Girardi said. "I saw him [Friday] and he looked OK, but you know he had a low-grade fever and wasn't feeling great."

Oooh, poor Fatso! Or as my mom would say, "Doctor! Doctor! My little mootzaboodle!"

The Yanks pretty much ran away with the game for most of the game. The ONLY time they even came close to losing ground was when Adam Jones hit a 3 run shot in the the 7th to score Lee and Markakis, making the score 6-3.

HOWEVAH, the Yanks responded with Jorge's 2-run shot in the 8th, followed immediately by R-Mart's 2nd bomb of the day. Soon thereafter, the Yanks load up the bases against Accardo, and that's why Arod is batting clean up.

#13 has this way of returning to the lineup against Baltimore and just basically foregoing any kind of "weening" himself into the game.

For example:



Ahh, that was another good one. (Notice the assclowns in the Camden bleachers with the needle posters? Ha. Morons.)

To paraphrase the famous owner of the Yanks from the 20s, Jacob Ruppert, “a great day at the ballpark is when we get out to a 10-0 lead and then slowly pull away.”

Which is pretty much what happened yesterday. Sort of.

And then, just for good measure, there's what happens after the grand slam. Which, as we all know, usually is just awkward.

But since yesterday was just a total run hemorrhage, GGBG went ahead and added to the bleeding. So confusing. It was a 96mph fastball, though, so I guess little $11 just basically had to touch the ball to put it over the short porch. Which is what happened. And the dugout goes wild, and they're laughing, and you remember how awesome it is to be a Yankee fan.

(Which is a sentiment that is really driven home lately, in the presence of pretty much every NY sports team that isn't the Yankees. Not good showing, NY Rangers. Same to you, NY Knicks. And NY Mets...sigh. Whatever.)

So the Yanktank wins 15-3 and becomes the last team to score at least 4 runs in an inning. Yeah, that's right. The team with the best record in the AL, and the most dings in the whole league, had yet to score 4 runs in an inning until yesterday. Well, slow and steady etc etc, no?

Oh, and just to keep things interesting, there was a completely innocuous brush back in the 9th which the media is desperately trying to blow out into a legit story.

After Rupe hit Martin in the back with a pitch in the ninth, Gardner hit his first homer of the season.Rupe said the brushback pitch was completely accidental."I had no intent to hit him. I looked at the video and it didn't look good," the pitcher said. "But there's no way that I would intentionally go at somebody's head or go way up there. I know how to hit a guy when the situation calls for it and that wasn't it. No, I wouldn't do it."

Yeah, I guess it's either that story or this one.

Things are getting crazy!

Ah, that said, HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE! See you after today's game. :)

Oh, also, me and my Dad tried to make NYY Easter eggs, but they ended up looking more like someone was trying to claw it's way out of a robin's egg. Soo..no posting of those pics. Though soon there will be pics courtesy of our newest sponsor! Stay tuned...