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So Nick Swisher. That's working out alright. Knockonwoodknockonwoodknockonwood.

But more striking to me, and probably for "Ha, put that in your pipe and smoke it" purposes is Posada's showing. What team would be dumb enough to sign an aging catcher?? Hmpf. I'm not sure when Boston fans are going to catch onto the idea that criticizing the sanctions of other teams that YOUR OWN TEAM SUBSCRIBES TO ITSELF just is beyond any and all standard rules of logic.

That said, I know, I know. Posada could very well going into early onset dementia in the next 17 minutes. And Varitek could go 4 for 4 tomorrow.

But right now? I'm happy with the way the boys are playing. The thing is the team is never hitting on all cylinders at once. But I can live with that. I'm fine with Matsui going 0 for 4 on one day if he ropes a few in the gap the next.

The one thing that's not sitting well with me is the lack of stolen bases. (My sister just pointed out that the Yanks have plenty of stolen bases, and she knows this because 85% of the team is on her fantasy team.)

They have 4 SBs on the year. Which is in the top 20% of the league. (Dodgers leading with 7.) Maybe it's not the SB, but the overall aggression on the basepath? Which has always been a bit of a gripe for me. Brett Gardner is most likely faster than Reyes. (He is.) And Damon, Jeter, and Melky have some life in their legs, too. But the Yankees organization as a whole seems to look at stealing bases as if they're actually stealing something. Like it's just as satanic as facial hair.

The Mets, who are consistently laughable with their categorical refusal to maximize their talent, are fun to watch because they scurry around the basepaths like they're remote control cars in FAO Schwartz. The Angels have people like Vlad taking extra bases. Tampa Bay is like a talented AL version of the Mets.

Watching teams like that? Like watching Thing 1 and Thing 2 clean an apartment. Awesome.

Watching the Yanks? Like watching that episode of Family Guy ("Chick Cancer") when they superimpose legs onto Joe.

I shouldn't complain. At all. Another win! RINSE! Wahoo! Baby steps.

Which, actually, may be the same maxim governing the Yanks' thoughts on base stealing.
* * *
I went out to dinner and ate spinach and grilled chicken. I don't know how people do this whole healthy thing. It's disgusting. I'm hungry 15 minutes later. And for the record, watermelon doesn't taste anything like watermelon-flavored things. Like ketchup and tomatoes, only worse. (In terms of disconnect between original and derived taste.)

I have to lower my BP by Thursday, so I googled "how to lower your BP immediately" and, after delighting at google automatically populating the search field for me which indicated other people had been searching for this too, I realized the irony of being in a frantic haste to lower your blood pressure.

Ugh, I wish those things had some kind of "sucking on a penny" trick to them, like brethalyzers do. (Albeit this doesn't work, and the only way--save sobriety--is to hyperventilate pre-test.) A rule like if you want to get a low BP score, dip your arm in white chocolate an hour before you go to hospital. Or maybe something more accessible, like biting on a grape.


  1. Anonymous said...
    Varitek was 2-3 with a .267 average on his 37th birthday yesterday!
    Crazy Yankee Chick said...
    Well, there ya go. Everyone wins!

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