"It's great to be young and a Yankee."

WHERE THE &@#%^@# WAS A.J. WITH THE PIE?

And why were all my buddies baffled when I texted them:

PIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(To be clear, that's 28 exclamation points. It's also the first Yankee-related text message I sent of the season. I'm going to save it, and when we win #28 this year, I'll look back on it fondly as the harbinger of awesome.)

So, the game started out a touch slow. And it was rifling some feathers over on Pinstripe Alley, where my right to apply such import to the game was called into question.


Here we go! I don't understand why no one will get on board with me with this whole "Spring Training=Excuse to Practice Honing Our Inane Yankee Fandom Before April 4" thing. From where I'm sitting, in all things, it's better to be excited than bored.

So when the Yankees beat the Soup Kitchen Pirates today with a walk-off 3-run homer from Colin Curtis, I was so stoked, I was amped. Because HOW F'N COOL IS IT THAT THE PIE-OFFS ARE ALREADY STARTING?!! I'VE BEEN WAITING 4 MONTHS FOR THIS.

(Ok, when I say it like that, 4 months doesn't seem like that long. But it felt longer.)

The Pittsburgh pitchers were looking, um, pretty sharp. (I guess old habits die hard. The Yanks have, on occasion, made Melba toast hurlers look like Lobster Thermador.) In the first 3 batters, he threw 11 pitches, (9 strikes), got all to ground out.

Then our old pal Ohlendorff, who sounds like a character Jason Biggs would play in a movie about the little guy who prevails, comes on to pitch scoreless 2nd. Brian Bass and DJ Carrasco, who sound like characters with letterman jackets that would harass Jason Bigs, posted 0's for the 3rd and 4th.

And if it was fitting the first game ended in a walk-off, it was equally fitting A-Rod got the first hit of the spring, a single in the 5th. Little Ramiro Pena homered to start the 6th, and just like that, the Yankees were back. And they were in no rush to shed themselves of the old "let's-just-see-if-we-can-get-by-without-an-offense-for-the-first-6-innings" routine. Those kooks.

As for our pitchers...

Gaudin threw 34 pitches, (23 strikes), letting up 1 hit over 2 scoreless innings. Mitre and Aceves were perfect, blanking all 12 batters they faced. The hiccups came from Jonathan Abaklsjuroasjkd who relinquished 3 runs in 3 batters. Then some guys I never heard of came into finish off the game, and didn't let up any more hits or runs. Roger Royce Ring and Jason Hirsh. I really should know them, though. They've been playing in the pro's for at least a year. Don't judge me.

30-year old Amaury Sanit got the win.

Cervelli was our first base-runner, after getting HBP. Jaime Hoffman and Brett Gardner played like they're also on board with my SPRING TRAINING COUNTS, I SWEAR campaign. Tumbling catches, et al. The whole 9.

Tomorrow, Round Boy faces the Phils. Remember us, guys?