"It's great to be young and a Yankee."

You know how when you're REALLY hot and sticky and muggy, everything in the world is about 1000 times more annoying and aggravating and exasperating?

My cat knows how I feel, since he's spent the day annoying the hell outta me. He KNOWS he's doing it, too. Like he'll jump up and rub his face against the canvas wet with paint, and then look at me like, "Yeah? Now what are ya gonna do, bitch?"

I can't really fault him for acting like a pest, because he's got all that fur and stuff, and despite the fact my AC is super effective and cranking on high, it's still way too hot in my apartment. What's worse, it's hotter in here than it is outside.

So when I was lounging in the living room watching the game trying to get all into breezy Saturday afternoon mode, I was running into difficult ever getting truly at ease. I don't know if this was because of the climate control in my surroundings (or lack thereof) or the cat sporadically attacking my legs or the CONSTANT horn blowing in the Rogers Center or the CONSTANT whiffing from Mark Teixeira.

I don't know, one of those possibly added to the lack of comfort.

After the J's took a 1-lead early with a Vernon Wells solo shot (where in God's name did this guy come from?? Last I checked he was roughly 92 years old and was supposed to be fading into franchise oblivion), the Yankees resilient captain took charge and knocked a 2 run homerun to opposite field. (From now on, I'm not referring to it as "opposite field" if Jeter hits one over the RF fence, only if he goes left. Just saying. I don't really think it's opposite for him anymore in any sense other than the literal one.)

2-1, Yanks.

For the next 3 hours, Tex found new and exciting ways of striking out, while the rest of the order reacted in kind by finding new and exciting ways of stranding runners. It was especially creative given the fact they were managing to do so against the likes of pretty much every pitcher I've added then dropped on my fantasy team on account of them being wildly inconsistent and ineffective.

Not today, though.

I'll give you that Ricky Romero is a tough one, but Downs, Gregg, Camp, and Janssen should not have been giving them as much trouble as they did. The whole lineup was pathetic today. In 14 innings and over 200 pitches, the best they could do was a mere handful of hits. Jeter and GGBG both had 2 a piece, but beyond that, the best we could come up with was Arod, Posada, Cervelli, and Swish all going 1-6.

To be clear, Mark Teixeira not only did not have a hit, but struck out 5 times. In history, no batter has struck out more than 6 times in 1 game, and that's only happened 6 times. You're not on your Mark, Teixeira.

Gonzalez homered in the 7th to tie it up, and then 7 more innings passed without anyone scoring. What a fun game to watch. Nope.

Then Aaron Hill, after being useless the entire game, singles the winning run in, in the bottom of the 14th, off Chad Gaudin.

As terrible as our bats were, that's how impressive our bullpen was.

(Um, did I really just write that? Good God. There's a sentence I never thought I'd say...)

In 7 innings, 5 different relievers combined for 5 hits, and Gaudin was the only 1 who actually gave up a run. Joba and Chan Ho both induced fearful groans from my end upon their entrance in the game, and quickly shut me up when not only did they hold the score, but did so with a litany of strikeouts.

Speaking of, Pettitte record 10Ks today! A career record! I think it's really going unnoticed this year how improbably valuable he's been. I mean, like Vernon Wells, he's supposed to be declining under the umbrella of "well, he's gettin' old." Instead, he's playing like he's 25 years old. Just ridiculously impressive, really.

Must be the year of the "Wait, this guy is still good??" principle. Wells, Pettitte, Polanco, Posednik...it's like the 2005 All Star team is having their reunion tour.

But still, despite Andy's Andy-ness, and Joba/Park's non-Joba/Park-ness, the Yanks lost to the hard-hitting J's.

But here's the thing. Yeah, the J's have now beat the Yanks 2 times in a row, but hear me when I say this. I've seen this type of ball been played before. Many times. By my own kind.

The long ball, ironically, only goes so far.

Small ball, the type of game the Yanks worked on last year, wins championships.

The J's are making headlines and people are taking notice on account of their slugfest power. But I wouldn't hang my hat on them just yet, baseball fans.

In the words of Dr. Claw...